The Actor's One & Only

Chapter 23

"Just look at this one, yeah? May the Force be with you. That's the line. What's that even mean? I can tell by the quality o' the dialogue, this one's gonna be a stinker!" he grumbled, tossing aside the pile of scripts in his hand in a disinterested fashion. "When am I ever gonna get to say roguish lines like Say hullo to my lil friend...or yer gonna be sleepin with the fishes...ya know?" he complained. "I dunno...Ya don't really seem like the Mafioso type. I mean, I don't really picture ya mouthin those lines. I mostly see ya as the honest barrister or as the bumblin underdog officer or the grumpy DI whose job it is to take down the rogues an' goons who say stuff like that." Ruth spoke her mind, scrunching her face up as she spoke. He rolled his eyes at her voicing her opinion, but didn't dare utter- It doesn't matter what ya think! He knew she hated hearing those words outta his mouth and would threaten to walk out on him like the last time! So, he remained silent, watching her peruse through the scripts which she snatched from him to examine for herself, looking like a DI herself!
"Alright, what bout the others?" she enquired, motioning to some more on the bedside table. "I've gone through most o' em. Dialogue's too cheesy, storyline's dull and predictable, characters are unrelatable...honestly, none o' em catch my interest!" he complained with a frown. "Golly! Yer such a picky prick! D'you mind?" she offered to read through em on his behalf while he rested his eyes. "Go ahead.I bet ya won't find one that's worthy o' bein made into a movie that'll launch me into Hollywood." he mumbled. "Alright, Orson Welles, let's not get too ahead o' ourselves, eh? I'm just gonna read em myself, yeah?" she remarked sarcastically on detecting a hint of arrogance in his voice as she gathered up the scripts.
"Here we go, found four!" he sat up with a start as her ecstatic voice echoed through the flat. "Four..what?" he enquired as she hurried over from her perch on the couch and jumped up on the bed. "Four scripts that aren't shite! I used to intern at a publishing house. There's always a diamond in the rough. I've gone through yer scripts an' picked out the ones with a story to tell, relatable characters an' what not. The kind o' stories I know the audience would love to hear an' see, the kind o' characters I know you'd have a ball in bringin to life onscreen." she explained, laying each script out for him to see. She'd left the rejects in a pile on the couch. "Hmm? I might just hire ya as my official script reader...if there is such a job position, of course!" he thanked her with a toothy grin.
"Also, why dontcha give the may the Force be with you one a second glance? I think there might be some real potential in there..." she suggested, trying to sell that particular script since she was a fan of the sci-fi genre, but in vain. "Nah! Sod that one! It's all mumbo jumbo... sci-fi. I don't do sci-fi." he grunted ignorantly,much to her dismay. "Right...! An' then there were 3!" she muttered under her breath, pulling that particular script outta the running and letting him peruse through the rest of the scripts which she'd picked out for him.
"How'd it go?" she asked, as he met her outside the studio after his audition. She'd insisted on tagging along. Her own stubbornness was powerful enough to overshadow that of her fiance's! "Well, they've already cast the male characters...but they'd be willin to lemme have a go at the female characters if I was willin to dress up in drag." he replied. "That's weird...An' perverse! So, movin on..." Ruth didn't know what else to say to that. This was a whole different side of the industry she was seeing. They decided to move on from the awkwardness of it all to the next audition. The next one proved unfruitful as well...albeit, before it even began!
"Well, we're outta ere!" she was taken aback as the doors swung open and he stormed out. "Why? Did the audition suck? It's alright, ya can tell me." she demanded worryingly on seeing him pant. "I just heard who's directin it." he replied, once he'd caught his breath. She realized who he was referring to,but asked in a hushed tone, just for confirmation- "Warren Harbinger?" "Exactly the twat with whom I never wanna work with!" he confirmed with a scowl. "Oh, well...bollocks, eh? Third time's a charm?" she whispered anxiously, whipping out the third and final script from her handbag. "Well, wish me luck!" he muttered under his breath with his fingers crossed as they reached the hotel where the auditions were being held. She pecked him on the cheek for luck, flashing him a thumbs up before the elevator doors shut, taking him to the conference room where the auditions were being held.
"They said I've talent, that I'm not what they have in mind, but that they'll keep me in mind." he grumbled, shoving the script into her hand in the lobby where she waited for him patiently. They were just about to leave, when a clatter of footsteps behind them stopped the couple in their tracks."Oi! You! The one who just auditioned. They sent me after ya..! Listen, erm...there's a fella in Hollywood who might just have a script for ya, yeah? You'd be perfect for the role apparently. Why dontcha give it a try? I'll send ya the script. Give it a read, yeah? Send in an audition tape." a bespectacled man with clipboard in hand, exhausted from taking the stairs, blurted out, intercepting them at the front door. "Thanks, mate!" Jack cried out, unable to contain his excitement at being given a second chance just when his dream seemed close to being shattered and lost forever. "Thanks for comin in, by the way. Pleasure havin ya. Good luck!" the man wished the star in the making, adjusting his glasses and dabbing at his flushed, sweaty face as he spoke.
"Huh! Just when ya start to think there's nothin but a bunch o' sex-seekin, greedy sleazebags in the industry, someone comes along just to surprise ya, eh?" Ruth chimed in once he'd taken their leave, smiling victoriosly at Jack. "Uh-huh! D'you have a camcorder I could borrow?" he enquired, as they made their way out the door. "Better yet, you've got yerself an amateur videographer at hand, mate! If I let ya do it on yer own, you'd just end up makin a blurry mess o' it! Besides, I don't want ya breakin my precious camcorder. C'mon!" she replied, supportive as ever as she offered to help out with his audition tape.