The Actor's One & Only

Chapter 4

"So...?" he heard her curious voice call out from the sofa in the living room as he returned home and started up the stairs. "So...What..?" he retorted, leaning over the banister of the staircase to look at his nosy mother, raising an eyebrow at her question. "Well, how'd the date go? Ya an' Ruth? Ya a couple yet? Can I tell the neighbors already?" she enquired, ecstatically jumping up as she spoke. "No, mum! Ruthy an' I....we don't have that kind o' relationship, kay? She's just a friend." he replied, clarifying it for her before she began printing up wedding invites prematurely!
"Although...you'd like er to be more, right?" she continued, as if reading her son's mind. "Aye...but I want er to reciprocate my feelings as well. It's best to give it time though. Nice an' slow does it, right?" he confided. "But how long are ya gonna be ere, lad? Ya said ya have a hectic schedule, dontcha? What if ya never get the time to meet someone an' settle down? Ya oughta do so while yer still young an' have the energy to... ya know...rumble the bed,eh, lad?" she suggested, with a mischievous wink that made him shudder! "Ugh...mum! Do me a favor an' never talk to me again, yeah?" he cried out in disgust, almost toppling down the stairs on hearing her!
"An' yer gonna turn 24 next week...My baby's all growin up..!" she began to grow all emotional. He rolled his eyes, watching her settle into the sofa once more and browse through her precious albums of his childhood pics which she treasured.
"Mum, I'm a grown man! No more babies an' no more Jacky-wackies...an' no more lookin reminiscently at my ol baby pictures...or showin off my baby pictures either, woman!" he ordered, turning beet red with embarrassment for the second time that evening.
"I wish there'd be some place where all these photos could be put on display for all to see! Ya know what with all these digital stuff comin up...D'you know I can send yer aunt Connie er Christmas card just sittin ere in front o' my computer, love? I bet they'll come up with somethin to share my Jacky-wackie's photos too, eh?" she exclaimed in a voice filled with hope and wistfulness. "Aye... That'll be the day I hang myself!" he remarked sarcastically, chuckling nervously. "If you'll excuse me, it's my first day o' filmin tomorrow an' I don't wanna show up an' go all blank in front o' the camera, yeah? Gotta go run through my lines." he excused himself, leaving her to relive her memories of his childhood with a pleased smile pasted permanently on her face.
"Good mornin, mate!" he was woken up by a chirpy voice the next day as he drooled over his scripts which lay strewn over his bedspread. "Good mor...oh,my God, Ruth?!" he began to return the greeting with a drowsy smile, but stopped short and gasped as his morning greeter's beautiful, smiling face came in full view! He shot up straight, backing up against the headboard in horror as he quickly covered up his modesty with his blanket on noticing Ruth's presence in his room.
"I'm...I'm not decent...!" he sputtered, blushing and praying in his mind for it all to be a bad dream. "I can see that. Yer wearin pants though." an amused Ruth pointed out to his banana-print pajama bottoms which peeked out from underneath the blanket. "What if I was naked?!" he cried out, his voice almost a falsetto as he began to quickly rummage through and grabbed an undershirt from his drawer to cover his half-naked, pale white, freckled torso. "Ya sleep naked?! Then, I'm bringin my Polaroid the next time I barge in, eh?" he heard the eager amateur photographer tease him with a promiscuous grin.
"Oh...Yer growin chest hair too now, eh? I don't like it!" she remarked in an observant manner as he pulled on the undershirt over his lanky frame, payback for his insult about her breasts the previous day. "Aye, I'm tryin to grow a beard too, ya know?" he began to show off, as he held his chin up for her to gaze upon the invisible stubble which was only visible to him and him alone. She acted impressed, flashing him a thumbs up, although there was nothing much to see in terms of facial hair. He was soon letting go of that insecurity and awkwardness he had before and returning to his boisterous self, now that he was fully clothed.
"Anyway...what're ya doin ere?" he enquired, once he was decent. "Yer mum called up. Said ya needed a ride to the studio on yer first big day, ya did." she replied. "I don't. In fact, the producers are sendin o'er a car to pick me up..." he declined her offer politely, unknowingly offending his mum who was passing by with the laundry hamper. "Producer-schmuducer! Yer lettin Ruthy give ya a ride an' that's final!" she scolded her son from the doorway. "C'mon, Jack, it's no problem, really. I'm on my way to work, anyway. It'll be fun!" Ruth urged, jokingly ensuring him that she wouldn't bite! "Fine, I'll get ready...an' meanwhile, you two can stay out!" he agreed after much persuasion, showing them the door and ordering the women out.
"This can't possibly be the ride...! It's a tiny bike...with a lil basket on the front!" he cried out on seeing their ride parked in the driveway, nodding in disbelief that she expected him to show up on set riding backseat on a tiny bicycle! "Aye, a bit girly, I agree. But mum likes er some baguettes in the mornin, what can I say!" a witty Ruth explained the importance of the lil basket, with a toothy grin. "I show up on this, they're gonna kick my arse outta the movie before it even begins!" he refused to sit himself on the bike. "Ooh...then there'll be a vacancy! D'you think they take on the spot auditions...walk-ins, are they called...?" she joked, posing for him in a posh fashion and putting on airs.
"Again...Yer actin is still absolute shite! An' I'm only doin this so mum gets off my back, yeah?" he finally agreed to her offer of a lift (albeit poutingly), once he caught sight of his mum glaring at him from the window. "C'mon, hop on! Don't be shy! I haven't got all day, star-boy!" she ordered, as he sat behind her sulkily and she took the wheel...or rather, the handlebars.
"Better not crash this bloody thing! I'm in a career where I've to rely on my looks too, ya know? Can't have this handsome, dimpled face all dented up!" she giggled on hearing him warn jokingly with a goofy grin.