blue eyes ; daniel seavey (discontinued)

10

Alex's P.O.V

I can't stop thinking about him.

He's leaving. Just when I realise that I love him, he's walking right out of my life. After what happened yesterday, the only thing that's come out of it is more dread that has filled my heart. I want him to stay, but I don't want to restrict him from following his dreams after everything he's done for me.

I'm so proud of him for following his dreams but I don't wanna lose him now that I've figured out my feelings. But the sad truth is, he'll never know. Not only is he leaving, but he'll never feel the same way about me.

I close my math book after countless minutes of just staring into blank space, fiddling with my necklace as my troubling thoughts invade. I look up at the clock on my wall and see that it's time for Daniel and I to watch the stars once again.
A small smile inches up on my face after a while and I prop myself towards the window, preparing for the knock.

Nothing.

I tap my foot impatiently and furrow my eyebrows, he should be here by now.
It's been 15 minutes, he's always on time. Maybe he's just busy packing the final things into boxes. But, I saw all the boxes outside yesterday whilst we walked home. He's leaving in roundabout a week.

I bite my lip anxiously and open my window, climbing up to the roof and shivering against the cold.
I sit waiting for god knows how long before looking up at the stars, even they must be wondering where Daniel is.

"Honey you need to come down now, he isn't coming sweetie" my mum says softly through the window.
"No mum, it's Daniel. He's coming" I say before looking back up at the stars, "I know it"
I hear a faint sigh and shuffling then silence.

15 more minutes pass. Then half an hour. Then an hour I've been up here.

"Where are you Daniel?" I say, my voice faltering.
"Cmon sweetie" mum says even more delicately but this time I don't fight back.
I clamber back down to my room as my mum leaves.

I don't know whether to be upset or concerned.
I try to fall asleep but my mind races at the fact that Daniel didn't show up tonight.

-

Where is he?

He didn't walk with me to school as usual. I haven't seen him all day and it's last period. I haven't been interactive much with the rest today. As I'm drowning in my thoughts, I hear chatter arise from the girls sat around me.

"Yeah, he left yesterday early in the morning" one of them said.

"What?" I abruptly interrupt their conversation but they don't seem to mind as they look at me with a sympathetic expression.
"Daniel. He didn't tell you before leaving?" One of them said.
"He left yesterday super early in the morning" the other said.

I remained silent, tears welling up and my heart shatters,
"Ouch" they resound as the bell rings.
I have no willpower to speak or even to move. I feel pain and hurt rise up inside of me slowly flooding my whole body as I release my caged tears.

Jacob, Brook and Matt all come and help me stand up and attempt to assist me but I shake them off and run out of the doors all the way home with my tears blurring my vision.
As soon as I enter, my mum attempts to help me but I run up to my room, locking the door and collapsing in a fit of tears.

My heartache had rung me out until I was dry inside, no more tears would come. My insides still felt as raw as if a winter wind was blowing right through my skin. My appetite dwindled to nothing. I kept the curtains closed so that I wouldn't have to witness life going on as usual. How could it when my world had crumbled?

I found it unbelievable how he could leave me just like that like I was nothing to him, perhaps I was nothing to him, perhaps I was merely a game to him, nothing more. I gave up on sleep with the pieces of my heart swirling around. I turned to my side, staring at the clock blankly.

12:01am

There was no point of me attempting to sleep. Propping myself up, I then clambered out and opened my window, climbing up to the roof. I had hope that the stars would help me just like they did when he was here, but all they did was mock me; bring back painful nostalgia.
I looked down, almost hearing them taunt me as I closed my eyes and blocked my ears,

"It was so easy for you to get up and leave without a word, like I was nothing but the dirt under your shoe"

I whisper, hoping that wherever he was right now, he'd hear me and come back. But even I knew that was only in my wildest dreams. I feel anger rising up inside of me, I want to hate him, but I know I can't. I can't stop loving this boy no matter what I do.

Grief.

Feels like emptiness in your heart, a shear of nothingness that somehow takes over and holds your soul and threatens to kill you entirely. It gives you this heavy feeling that's like the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders and there is nothing you can do to get out from under it. Its like this hole in your heart that is the shape of the one you lost and that makes you feel the need to wipe away any non-existent tears that you want to form but can't.

And that grief is caused by him.

A/N:
Hey guys, I will be updating this book and my other book, Jess Paul, more frequently so please vote and also comment your opinions and suggestions because I really would like to know what you guys think about this story❤Mkay. Byeee.