The Pieces Left

Chapter 4

"Hello?" The other line said. It was Jimmy. I knew it was him. The question is, why is he calling me? Why does he want to meet me? It's been 5 years. "Hey" I finally managed to mutter. "Listen, I know we haven't....I mean it's been some.....I....don't know what to say" he said. The line was silent except for his breathing. "I saw you. I saw you at 30 Rock. You've changed but in some ways have stayed the same. Look, I want to see you" he said. "Jimmy..." I trailed. "No, please Stevie. I need to see you, I just want to know how you've been" he said frantically. "I can't" I said softly. "You can, you can come over to my place and...and we'll talk. I just need to talk to you" he said. "I can't" I said again, but louder. "Stevie, I'm not over you. I'm not over you at all and I've fucked up. I've fucked up real bad. I didn't know what I was doing, I was just trying to find you but..." he said in a panic. "I'm married" I finally said. "You know that so why are you talking to me like this. I'm only here in New York because my husband is working" I said sternly. "Please just meet me somewhere, I need to talk to you" he said, ignoring my past statement. "No.....please stop asking" I said. "I need to talk to you Stevie" he said again. "No, James" I said. "Fine......would you be more open to meeting me somewhere public? Like a restaurant or cafe?" He asked. "I don't know....I'm pretty busy" I lied. "No you're not, you've probably just been wondering around the city since you've been here. Beckett's working isn't he?" He said. Fuck him, he knows me so well. "This isn't smart" I said. "Just talking. I just want to talk" he said. I hesitated. I finally then sighed and said, "okay". "Thank you! Okay meet me at the address I text you" he said. I looked around helplessly. "Nothing more than talking." I said. "Yes! Of course" he said. "Bye Jimmy" I said and then hung up before he could say bye back. I tossed my phone on the bed and then lay back. I closed my eyes and sighed. What the fuck am I doing?

I waited outside a small coffee house in the Upper East Side. Jimmy had said it was pretty private. He was on his lunch break and we had agreed to just have a coffee and talk. I looked down at my outfit. I had decided to wear a long grey sweater with black jeans. I paired it with brown boots. My curled hair fell delicately on my shoulders. I then saw him. He was walking casually down the street. He had on sunglasses and a cute Yankees hat. I probably wouldn't have recognized him if I don't know how much of a die hard Yankees fan he was. He had changed some. His hair was shorter and he looked taller. Odd. My heart was pounding and my stomach was turning. It was probably 40 degrees outside but I was sweating. As he got closer, I became more and more nervous. When he walked up to me, I smiled. "Long time, no see" he said. "Ditto" I muttered. There was an awkward pause. "Shall we?" He said leading to the door. "Yes" I said and then walked towards the cafe. I went to grab the door but was stopped by his hand. Our hands touched. "I'm sorry" I said as I quickly grabbed away. "No, I was just gonna get the door for you" he said. He then opened the door and I walked in. I could feel him watching me walk. I'm gonna get something to drink, you want anything?" He asked. "Uh yeah, I'll have a-" I started to say but then, "chocolate mocha" he finished. I stared at him in awe. "I remember" he said before walking away. I rolled my eyes and sat down at a small table. I checked my phone. Beckett had texted me.

"Wanna grab lunch? Remember we have dinner with ur mom tonight"

I sighed and texted back:

"I'm at lunch with an old friend from high school. Sorry.....and thx for reminding me"

I do feel bad for Beckett. I feel like I'm cheating on him but I'm not. Something feels wrong about this. I'm having a coffee with the man I've been in love with for over 5 years.

"Here you go" Jimmy said as he put my coffee on the table for me. "Thank you" I said. He then sat down across from me. "So....what did you wanna talk about" I said. "Before we get into that, how have you been?" He asked. I shrugged. "Fine, I mean it's been pretty good" I said as I took a sip of coffee. "Are you still at UCLA or have you graduated?" He asked. I looked down. Shit. "I.....uh...I dropped out" I finally said. Jimmy's eyes widened. "What?" He said. "College just wasn't my thing" I lied. "I am so sorry to hear that" he said. "So what are you doing then?" He asked. "I work in advertising for Sephora" I said. His eyebrows rose. "You're working in advertising?" He asked. "Yeah...." I said confused. "I'm just surprised, judging from the fact you didn't finish college" he said. "Well, they weren't going to hire me at first, but I told them to give me a week and I'll show them what I can do. After a week, they fell in love with me. So now, I'm the supervising assistant of the regional marketing in San Diego" I said proudly. "Wow..." he said impressed. "That's amazing, Stevie. You were always like that. Wouldn't take No for an answer." He said. I smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "What about Beckett? What's he doing?" Jimmy asked randomly. "Oh uh, he's great, he's working at a power plant in San Diego. I don't really know a lot of what he does. All I know is that he's super smart and whenever he tries to explain it, I zone out" I joked. Jimmy didn't laugh. Instead, he sighed. "I always knew you'd end up with someone like him. Someone who can support you, someone who can give you a normal life." He said. There was an awkward silence. "Normal isn't always fun" I said softly. Jimmy looked at me. I quickly looked away out the window. "You're right.....and you're everything but normal" he said. I shyly smiled. "How are you're girls?" I asked, trying to break the tension. "Good. They're doing great. Both in school now, it's crazy. They're growing up so fast." He said. "Wow, I can't believe they're in school now" I said surprised. I had a quick flashback of two toddler girls laying on my stomach and how young they were last time I saw them. "Stevie.....Do you remember what you told me on your wedding night?" Jimmy asked. I gulped. I hated thinking of that night. "I don't wanna talk about that" I said. "Are you in love with Beckett?" He then asked quickly. I rolled my eyes and got up. "I'm not doing this" I said. "Stevie, I just want to know" he said. "No, I am not talking about this....I can't" I sad as I gathered my jacket. "I'm sorry..please don't leave" he said frantically. "Goodbye" I said and then walked out the door. I could hear him calling my name from behind me. I walked faster. He finally caught up to me. "Stevie, please" he said as he grabbed my arm. "Let go of me" I said. "I can't" he said as he grabbed my other arm. "Stop!" I yelled. He let go. "I messed up! I messed up again" he said. I kept walking. "Her name is Salem. She's 18. I slept with her" he said a little too loud. I stopped walking. My mind went whirling. I turned around. "What?" I asked. He walked closer to me. "I messed up....she's pregnant." He said as he started to cry.