The Pieces Left

Chapter 2

New York City. The city of opportunity and fame. For me, it's the city of heartbreak and happiness. Jimmy is still the star studded host of the Tonight Show. He's remained unmarried for the past 5 years. He's dated a few women off and on but nothing serious. I try not find out a lot about him, it's too hard. I actually haven't been to New York in a while. The last time was for my mom's wedding which was 2 years ago. I've been going back to Georgia a lot just because it reminds me of innocence. Beckett obviously knows what happened between me and Jimmy. He doesn't know the full story, only bits and pieces. When Beckett and I were dating, I never brought up the past. I was too afraid to talk about it because I was scared of saying too much. I didn't want Beckett to think I was messed up even though I was and still am. I just wanted someone to be there for me and Beckett did that.

When the plane landed, I got this uneasy feeling in my stomach. The city lights and cool air reminded me of the past. Living in California for the past 5 years has definitely made me miss the seasons. It's November and November in California is more like summer in New York. "You miss this place?" Beckett said as we undid our seat belts. I nodded and said, "a little bit...I wish you didn't have to work while we were here". "Me too....but we'll manage to have a good time" he said back while rubbing my thigh. I smile and nodded. As usual.

When the New York City air hit me, a million memories hit me. A cold rush of wind hit me like the first time Jimmy kissed me, fast and exhilarating. The echo's of the cars and people overwhelmed me like the fact that I was living a lie. I know exactly where Jimmy's apartment is...maybe now was. The city was alive and bright even though it was 11:00 at night, as always. "What hotel are we staying in?" I asked Beckett after we had walked a while. Beckett sat his stuff down and pulled out his phone. People around us gave him an annoyed look. Poor Beckett, he is so suburbs and not all a city boy. "Babe, you can't just set your stuff down in the middle of the sidewalk and take a break. Here, let's move to the side" I said laughing. Beckett picked up his stuff and moved to the side. "Why is everything so fast here? What is so important?" He asked half jokingly, half serious. "I don't know, man......Okay, what's the hotel?" I asked. Beckett tapped on his phone a few times and then said "Hilton Times Square". I groaned and said "babe..that is such a tourist place to stay." I joked. "Well, I thought it'd be cool to stay there.....whenever we come here you're always ready to leave" he said as he put his phone back in his pocket. "It's just not my favorite place to be.....it's not as cool if you've lived here" I said as I picked up my bags. "Well, I want you to enjoy it this time.....be a tourist this week" he said as he kissed my head. "I'll try" I said back.

By the time we got to the hotel and sat our bags down, it was 12:15 in the morning. I was totally pooped. I called my mom and told her we were in town and I we agreed to meet up at a cafe in Soho tomorrow morning. I lay on the bed and turned on the TV. Not much on.....A Friends rerun, a sappy Lifetime movie, and.....The Tonight Show. I hesitated before skipping over to the Friends rerun. "Hey, I'll have to leave by 8:30 tomorrow morning so will you be okay?" Beckett asked as he put on his pjs. I nodded. "What time are you meeting your mom?" He asked. "Not till 9:00" I replied. "If you're still in the Soho area by noon? I can meet you for lunch." He said. "Sure! That'd be great!" I gleamed. Beckett got in the bed and moved over to me. He then proceeded to kiss my head,  then my neck, then my collarbone. I smiled. "You have to be up early tomorrow" I said as I pushed him away. "I think I'll be okay" he said as he started to unbutton my flannel. "I'm tired" I said as I pushed him away again. "No you're not" he said and then took of my shirt. He then kissed my chest and started to move down. I breathed heavily and took it all in. The thing about Beckett and sex is, is that Beckett cares too much about me during sex. All he does while he fucks me is ask if I'm okay or if he's hurting me. It's sweet and thoughtful but annoying as hell. It's like, babe, I want to enjoy this and I want you to enjoy this, but if you're gonna ask me if I'm okay every 3 seconds, no ones enjoying it. Beckett is too good for me honestly. He should really be with someone who really loves him. I know he loves me so much and I'm a horrible person to act the same back. "That was great" Beckett said after he climaxed inside me. I looked around and sighed. "Yeah....it was" I said plainly. "You are too hard to please" Beckett said as he fell next to me. "Ha, I guess" I laughed. "I love you, Stevie" he then said. "I love you, too......You're too good for me" I said. He looked at me and gave me a funny look. "You're perfect for me.....I love every part of you" he said. My heart broke on the inside. "You shouldn't......I'm a mess" I said softly. "You're my mess" he said before kissing me and then turning off the light. I listened to Beckett toss and turn a little before his breathing turned soft. I sighed and eventually fell asleep.