My Song Book

6

"The me I was before"
(Freakish mirror)

The mirror makes me see
Who i am but
Is it who I want to be
Myself from a year ago doesn't feel the same
Am looking at the mirror
Hoping for something better

I hoped for something better
When I looked into you
I was scared to come close
Praying I'd be something more than
I was before
All my life I wanna change
The me I see

Too scared to step forward
I can't look in for
Again I'd feel like am unwanted
The feeling of rejection and insecurity
Don't wanna feel like that again
The mirror is not a friend of mine
I can't stand it

I wanna get away from it
But its not like I can so easily
There's always the curiosity
To know how the part I want is there

Bearing this deep fear
In me
Each time I go close to it
Can't it be taken away
My mind works everytime I look into it
For it remembers how
Unfair life was for me...

I can't stand seeing what I see
Each time that mirror sits there
Looking at me
The it I see is a blinding sensation
To my eyes
I feel like ripping my eyes out
Each time I look at it

Oh why did this have to be me
I resent every breath I take
Why does that thing remind me of me
Every single time
I wanna escape this feeling
I resent the me I see

That mirror what can I do about it
I wish I had met the person who
Invented them and stopped them
Oh I know what to do
I'll just shatter that mirror in my room
That'll make me feel better

Today I destroyed that mirror
It gave me wounds but I dont care
I'd rather get hurt
Than catch a glimpse
Of that forsaken thing ever
I clean out those wounds on my hand
But can't erase those heart wounds

Its some days now
And I think I erased that freaky self
from my memory
I think I can smile a little now
But going through this shop I passed through
What do I see
That freaky self once again

Should I cry or not
Its not like I can
Run away from myself
I wish I could
Its simply impossible
Myself is me
The one who cries
When looking into that mirror each time

Aspiring to be that perfect girl was me
The girl who would be praised
Everywhere I went
Everyone would stare and say
"She's Beautiful"
How can I be called that
When I think its impossible
But no there's no where else to look

I want to go back to
To that she I was before
But time is not on my side
All I got now is that freakish mirror

lame??ikr😂😂 I feel its so but tell me what you think tho.

please guys please comment after you read so I'll know if I should give up on poetry forever jk😂😂

tho I wrote this lame stuff
I love you all
❤❤❤