The One Who Didn't Die

23. Parallel

I take it one day at a time because I don't know how each day will end. Some days have really good moments and on other days, I find it hard to even breathe without a heaviness in my chest. So I take it one day at a time because I don't know how else I will make it through.

It had only been a week since we had lost Daryl, a week since I had lost him, 7 days. And I could feel all 168 of the hours, all 10 thousand and 8 of the minutes in that time, all 600 thousand seconds seemed to drag along. This made continuing to push through each day that much more difficult. We had laid his body to rest and said our final goodbyes after one week. Funerals often solidify the death of a person, but having that person die in front of you tends to do that too. Not that you don't try to tell yourself it isn't true, but it is mighty hard to argue with the vivid images in your head.

I took off my blazer, stockings, and heels and put black flats on. I took a moment to sit on my bed before I had to go downstairs where my parents were. It was crazy, dare I say down right bizarre, that this was my new reality. I had no way to rationalize the events of the 12 months that had passed and I just had to live with the crazy thoughts about the crazy year. Because that's sometimes what you have to do, accept the outrageous and try to piece your life back together again.