Chapter 3
Sara's POV
I can't believe that just happened. I can't believe I just came face to face with my ex-boyfriend and that Caden had his picture taken with his father. Caden had no idea that Randy was his father; in fact, Caden hasn't brought up the fact that all the other kids in preschool have a daddy but him. Julie must have sensed that I was having a hard time processing all of this. She's an angel and decided to take control of getting us to our seats and calming down an over excited Caden who still bouncing around because he had just met his hero, John Cena.
I followed Julie and Caden into the arena and followed them to our seats. Our front row seats, I should add. We would have a perfect view of all of the action from our seats. Part of me was excited that Caden would be able to see everything and the other part was scared that I would meet Randy's eyes again. It was so weird seeing him again after all of these years. It took all of my strength not to blurt out that Caden was his son and to demand to know whether or not he was going to be a part of our son's life or not. That wouldn't be fair to Randy, I knew that deep down inside. It wouldn't be fair to expect Randy, who had no idea that he even had a son, to immediately step up and be part of his life.
I didn't even know if I wanted to be part of Caden's life. We had gotten along the first three years of his life just fine without Randy. I'm sure we could get along without him in the future as well. I just had to try a little bit harder to remind myself that Randy had always said that he didn't want children and I also had to remind myself that he never ran after me that night I stormed off on him. A few months after that last fight, it started to finally sink in that my relationship with Randy hadn't been as perfect as I thought it was. It was pretty obvious that I was just another notch in his bedpost, another conquest conquered. I was just another girl to him. That hurt. A lot.
The show started on time and Caden sat in my lap the entire time, except when he would get too excited and hand to stand up and watch the action from the barricades with wide eyes. It scared me to know that this business was part of him even if he didn't know it yet. His father, his grandfather, his great grandfather and his uncle were all a part of this crazy world. What would I do in 20 years if he decided he wanted to follow this dream too? Would I let him do it? I didn't know. The career that Randy had chosen had made it hard to be with him. He was always gone. I wanted to keep thinking and analyzing this, but all of the sudden I heard Randy's music start to play and I turned around to watch him come down to the ring. He was absolutely perfect. He was tall and muscular in all of the right places. His body was perfect. His cold blue eyes looked around the crowd, a little voice in the back of my head wondered if he was looking for me. Surely he had recognized me when we left the autograph room. The look on his face when he realized who I was, reminded me of someone who had just seen a ghost. I took a little bit of pride in knowing that I had just had that effect on him. Serves him right.
The show ended around 10:00 and I could tell that Caden was tired. He tried so hard to keep his little eyes open, but I knew the second I got him strapped into his car seat, he was going to be out. We made out way out of the arena and into the lobby. There were so many people who had had the same idea we had when it came to leaving. After about fifteen minutes of patiently waiting for our turn to get out the door, we made it. I had picked Caden up a while ago so he didn't have to stand, and he had fallen asleep against my shoulder. Julie was talking to me about something as we made our way out to the parking lot, but I couldn't pay attention to her. My attention was focused on two men standing by a bus on the side of the parking lot. Because it had taken us so long to get out of the arena, we were one of the last people to be in the parking lot. I recognized one of the men right away as Randy. I said softly to Julie, "Jules, do you see that guy over there, the taller one?" She nodded. "That's Randy. Do you think he saw us?" She nodded. "Shit. Do you think he knows it me?"
"I don't know...but I think you to need think fast about what you want to do, because he's coming this way." I looked up and sure enough he was only a few feet away. He had that smirk on his face. The one that used to drive me insane with desire for him. Right now, however, I wanted to slap it off of his face, thinking about how I had to raise our son alone.
"Sara..." he said as he walked up to me and Julie with a sleeping Caden still in my arms.
"Oh, hi Randy."
"What are you doing here tonight?"
"What do you mean, what am I doing here tonight? Someone from work got us tickets."
"Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that. I just meant, wow. I haven't seen you in like four years and now all of the sudden here you are. How have you been?"
I didn't say anything for a few minutes, mostly because I had no idea what to say to him. There were a million things I wanted to yell and scream at him, but I didn't even know where to start. Julie touched my shoulder and held out her arms to take Caden from me so she could get him buckled in his seat. I thanked her and forced myself to look at Randy's face. He had changed. His eyes were still that cold steel blue, but his face was more mature. It was hard to explain, but it almost looked like he had been hurt or gone through some rough times since we've been apart.
"I'm all right. Still living in St. Louis for now. How have you been?" I asked awkwardly.
"Good. Real good. I've been living my dream for the last four years."
I smiled, not sure what to say, because it was his dream that caused me to have to raise our son alone.
We stood around awkwardly for a few more minutes, neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. He finally looked at his watch and noticed how late it was getting. "Um. I guess you were probably on your way home." I nodded, glancing at the car to see Julie waiting patiently in the passenger's seat/ "I'm in town for a few days, if you're not busy, would you like to get together? I feel like we ended on unsettled terms..." he trailed off, not looking at me.
"Things were pretty settled as far as I was concerned, Randy. You made it pretty clear to me that you weren't looking for anything long term and that I pretty much didn't fit in your life at the moment."
"I'm sorry...I can be a real jerk sometimes, Sara. You probably know that better than anyone," he said with a small smile, probably remembering how we would fight and scream and argue, but I would always forgive him in the end.
"Yeah, you sure were a jerk when you wanted to be," I said, finding myself return his smile.
"So...can I see you tomorrow sometime? Maybe we can get together for lunch tomorrow?"
I thought about it for a minute. I might as well talk to him. I would have to eventually tell him about Caden, so I might as well just lay everything out for him and see what he wants to do. It doesn't matter to me if he wants to be a part of our son's life or not; like I said before, I have enough love for that little boy for two people. He was my world.
"I'd like that." I wrote down my number for him quickly and he promised to call tomorrow morning and set up a time for us to meet. I said good night to him and quickly got into the car before I had to have any more nervous conversation with him. Julie let me drive in silence for a few minutes before she finally begged me to tell her what happened. She was shocked that I actually agreed to meet with him tomorrow.
"Are you taking Caden with you? I can watch him if you want me to. It might be kind of weird if you show up with him and then drop a bomb on Randy that he's Caden father."
"Julie, this is why you're my best friend. You know what I'm thinking sometimes before I even do," I said with a smile and squeezed her hand. I dropped her off at her apartment and headed home. As I laid a still sleeping Caden in his bed, I thought about whether or not Caden would have been better off knowing his father from the beginning. And I wondered if Randy was even going to care that he had a son. I guess I would find out tomorrow.
