Chapter 5
Sara's POV
Randy looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car for a few minutes. I wasn't sure what to do right now while he composed himself. I was sure he would have been yelling and screaming at me if we hadn't been sitting in a crowded restaurant right now.
"Randy...are you going to say something?" I asked softly, breaking him from his trance.
"I have a son?"
I nodded.
"We have a son together?"
I nodded again.
He closed his eyes and was mumbling to himself. The people at the table next to us were starting to wonder what the heck was going on at our table. I tried smiling at them to let them know that everything was ok, but inside my heart was racing; I knew what I just told Randy wasn't ok. I had just dropped a bomb on him.
"Do you want to get out of here?" I asked as I started grabbing my purse and getting ready to go. Randy nodded, obviously still in shock at what I had just told him. I followed him to the cash register and was going to give the waitress my debit card, when Randy pushed my hand away and paid for my lunch. "Let's go," he said softly after he signed the credit card receipt. I followed him outside and walked over to my car. It made me nervous that he hadn't said anything yet.
I leaned against my car. "Will you please say something, Randy?" I asked.
He was silent for a few more seconds. "What do you want me to say, Sara? I run into you after not seeing you for almost four years and the first thing you tell me if that we have a kid together? Why didn't I know about him sooner?" I could tell he was trying to control the anger in his voice; unfortunately, I could see the anger in his eyes even if I couldn't hear it.
"I'm sorry-" he cut me off.
"You're sorry? I find out that I have a kid and all you can say is I'm sorry!" He had started to raise his voice. I quickly looked around the parking lot to see if there was anyone close by in case Randy's anger got the best of him while we were having this conversation.
"I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't."
"Sara, why did you feel like you couldn't tell me? I think I have a right to know if I'm a father."
"I didn't think you would want to know, Randy. You made it pretty clear to me that you had interest in becoming a father. Do you remember what you said to me that day that I left?" Randy shook his head no, even though I knew full well that he remembered what hurtful things he said to me that day. "You said that you had been careful, and if I ended up pregnant it would only be because I was cheating on you. How do you think that made me feel, Randy? How do you think I felt, knowing that I was already pregnant with your baby, and scared to tell you?" I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes; I wiped at my eyes before they could fall. There was no way that I was going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry over this. I had been through too much and was too strong to let him see me be weak now.
"I don't know what to say, Sara. I feel like such an ass. I had no idea that you were pregnant. If you had told me, things might have been different."
"Tell me how things would have been different, Randy? Would you have really stepped up and been a man and raised this baby with me? Or would you have run? I bet you would have run. I don't know how many times you had told me that you didn't want kids. How do you think that made me feel, Randy?" I looked around the parking lot, seeing that people were finishing up their lunches and were starting to come outside. If we stayed here we were going to have an audience soon.
