Chapter 4
I had a hard time sleeping Saturday night. I kept replaying my relationship with Randy over and over in my head. I had been head over heels for him after the first date we went on. I had just moved to St. Louis from a little town in northern Missouri and was working as a bartender at a seedy bar at the time. He had been sent home from work for a few weeks because of a shoulder injury. He was supposed to be at home resting, not in a bar drowning his sorrows. It was a slow Friday night at the bar, not many customers except for him a few other guys, so I got to play the part of the sympathetic bartender while he let out all of his problems on me. The more I listened to him, the worse I felt for him. He was trying to live his dream but had gotten sidelined by an injury, which if it had been more severe, would have ended his career. Luckily, it was only going to keep him out of action for a few weeks.
I started to drift off to sleep after glancing at the alarm clock beside my bed and realized that it was close to three in the morning, and that in nine short hours I would be having lunch with my ex-boyfriend, who also had no clue that he was the father on my son. The last thought that ran through my mind before I finally drifted off for the night was Randy kissing me in the rain. A nice thought to fall asleep to.
The next morning Caden was wide awake at seven, jumping on my bed, begging me to let him watch Mickey Mouse. I groaned and slowly opened my eyes. I found myself start to smile as I looked at his blue eyes. I love this little boy. I wouldn't change the past for anything; if I did, there's a chance I might not have this little miracle in my life.
The morning passed quickly, at breakfast, Caden relived his exciting night last night. He kept saying how cool it was that he got to meet John Cena. I waited for him to say how cool it was to have met Randy Orton also. He never mentioned Randy. I decided to bring it up just so I could gauge his reaction.
"So, Caden, what did you think about meeting Randy Orton last night. He's a pretty good wrestler too, don't you think?" I held my breath as I waited for his response.
He shrugged his little shoulders, "It was ok I guess. I like John Cena better. Randy Orton is a big meanie head. John is nice." Oh, the innocence of a child; everything is black and white. What you see is what you get. I wish adults could be like that sometimes.
After a morning of coloring with Caden and trying to read my terminology textbook, Julie came over to watch Caden. I went into my bedroom to get ready. I had no idea what I should wear today. I changed my clothes about ten times before I finally settled on a old pair of jeans, sneakers and a white hooded sweatshirt. I pulled my long brown hair back into a simply ponytail. I put on just a hint of make-up, remembering that Randy never liked it when I wore a lot of make-up. I stopped myself as I putting on my lip gloss, wondering why I just thought of that and why I though t it was important right now. I wasn't going to meet him to impress him, I was going to see if I had enough guts to tell him that he had a son.
I kissed Caden goodbye, thanked Julie for the fiftieth time for coming to stay with him today so I could do this and promised that I would be back soon. I got into my car and looked at the address I had written down for where I was supposed to meet Randy. He wanted to meet at the bar and grill at the golf course. If I remember right, that place is pretty fancy. I wonder if he picked that place so he could try and impress me; I'm going to hate telling him that I didn't agree to meet with him so he could try and impress me. I sighed as I started across town, turning on the radio to a country station to try and distract myself from my own thoughts while I drove. I felt a lump rise up in my throat when I started really listening to the words of the song that was on.
Sure I think about you now and then But it's been a long long time I've got a good life now I've moved on So when you cross my mind
I try not to think about What might have been Cause that was then And we have taken different roads
