Red's Revenge || n.h.

7. Trusted {Niall}

7. Trusted {Niall}

►► “Awake” by Secondhand Serenade

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“And I…” she said slowly. “I was…the reason for the Nexus Apocalypse 13…along with the entire facility of the British Intelligence whom Father accused of being the real criminals.”

Sudden anger filled me. “Real criminal?” I repeated. “He accused you of being something you’re not when you know you couldn’t do anything anymore? How is that fair? You’ve listened to your mum’s wishes and there’s nothing wrong with that — and he’s killed a lot more people with just going on for revenge, and he’s calling a criminal?”

This girl, this impeccable girl who just did as what she was told to by someone who really loved her and counted her as family — what did she do to be accused of something like that?

But wait: If the Nexus Apocalypse 13 is for the British Intelligence and…her — the thought horrifies me for a second — then, why has it taken so long for Red to use it? What was all the action for in Manchester back then? Why did Red want the formula from Franz when he already had made the formula before?

Whatever the possible answers are, I’m already dreading them.

Yanna abruptly propped herself on the floor and rested her head on my lap, since my legs were sprawled to the floor and my back was against the wall, my head under the window. The dim moonlight and the light from the lamp hit her porcelain face, making the tear streaks on her cheeks become visible and her dark billowy hair that looked as though it a sea spreading out around her. She had her eyes closed, and her breathing had become more even than that of earlier (because of crying). She placed her hand — the one she was holding — close to her chest, the part where you could feel a steady beating of a heart.

She looks so beautiful…and so sad. Nobody deserves that.

“I can’t believe you’re still here, trying to convince me that I have somewhat nothing to do with the Nexus Apocalypse 13,” she muttered, not opening her eyes. “And that you’re still consoling me, now that you know I’m way worse than how much of a criminal my father is.”

“You are nothing like that, Yanna. Please don’t sway to your dad’s words,” I said. “This isn’t your fault — it’s his fault for not getting even some kind of epiphany that his wife died wanting him to stop the madness he has on being someone and trying to save her even if she doesn’t want to. You only did what your mother had wanted you to do, and I think that is the only thing that matters for now.”

She opened her eyes and looked at me, an unreadable look in her eyes. “Sometimes, the nightmares get worse than just waking up without her anymore,” she said in a soft voice. “Sometimes…she’s standing there, merging from being lively and beautiful into something scary, pale and cold…and as the flesh is peeling out of her,” she flinched and closed her eyes again, “she’s telling me in a monotonous voice that she’s disappointed and that I’d been absolutely stupid for not even trying to do something for her…she was echoing all of Father’s word again and again…and sometimes, I think they’d never stop until I find the strength to just wake up…”

Tentatively, I gingerly ran my hand though her hair and she didn’t object. “I’m sure your mum doesn’t think of you that way,” I said softly. “I’m sure she’s proud that you’ve stuck to her words, she’s happy that until her last breath, you were there with her…and she’s sad of what have become to your father and your brother…”

Yanna opened her eyes; her irises looking like pitch black holes down an empty cave, empty and sad. “Father has always promised to himself and to her that she would be with her forever. And ever since the day she died, it’s always been something I’ve heard him muttering to himself whenever he’s at the house…” she said. “And now that he’s dead…I don’t know if he’s really with her, because I know I want him to be with her — even if he was like that, Father loved Mother so much and they were each other’s happiness, weakness and strength…I guess it’s been the reason why nobody from the British Intelligence seem to have proven that he’s married. Father is stubborn and very loyal to someone he really loves, but sadly, I…”