"Hyung, can you tell me why? What has caused you to do this? I just want to know so I can help you." Jin nodded and started talking.
Jin told me about how he didn't feel good at all. How he hadn't felt like he mattered. He told about how he started cutting. He just needed something to help with pain and cutting just was his way to survive. The pain wasn't caused by one big thing or experience but many small things had started to be too much. He had been feeling bad for years and now couple of months ago he had gotten enough.
Jin told me that when he had came to BigHit he wanted to make everything himself, not by his famous and rich father's name. He had thought that this -idol's career- would be his opportunity to shine and show his family and friends that he IS good and he didn't just get everything free but by his own hard work. Slowly he had realised that no one didn't really care about that. He didn't get his turn. No, Jin had watched from the side when every opportunity -smaller ones and bigger ones- went to others.
Jin told that he wasn't jealous. Not at all, he knew that everyone else deserved what they got. He loved us and hoped each one of us get as much regognition as possible. But that didn't help him when he thought that he was nothing. In fact, it made it worse. He said that when he compared himself to us, he saw that he was way behind us. He said that he felt like he didn't belong to our group and he was just dragging us down.
He had always had thoughts about giving up. Jin hyung said that even fans thought that he should give up. He had suffered because of hate comments. He had gotten even deaththreads. Jin had felt so bad but no one ever noticed and he hadn't been brave enough to talk to someone. The pain had gotten too hard to carry alone and he had needed something -anything- to help with it. And he had started cutting.
"It wasn't supposed to anyone to know. No one should had noticed. I didn't want anyone to know that I am this kind of coward and weirdo." Jin sighed. He had tear strains on his cheeks when he looked away.
"No Jin-hyung, no. You are brave. You are tough for enduring that much pain and still keeping up. You are the most hardworking person I know and you deserve everything you get. You deserve more, much much more. Don't think that you are nothing. You are so good at so many things that I don't even know how that is possible. You are also caring and lovely person and it can be seen just only from how you treat everyone. You are our family and we couldn't survive without you. I could not. And we all support you and want you to do whatever you can imagine and you like. Hyung, I know you are interested in acting. If you want to start it, just do it, I think you would do amazing."
I talked and talked but wasn't sure if it helped. I knew that hyung felt so bad and it wasn't so easy to help him. But I needed him get better. And I didn't want him to go worse at least. I had seen the worst. And I really didn't want to see that. Not again.
I run as fast as I can. I don't know if I'll make it. I'm maybe not fast enough but I still run. I need to run. I hear faint chime from my left pocket. I know it doesn't mean any good. I arrive at the house. I throw the front door open and run through the house. I know where I need to go. When I arrive there I see it.
Blood. Blood everywhere.
AUTHOR NOTE: Yeah this was the bad chapter I was talking (writing) about. I apologize but I hope you survived this very painful reading experience.
Hey someone tell me why there isn't pictures with Jinnie and Hobi together? I really couldn't find any.
Aand if any of you can make covers I would be really glad if someone did one to this;) Because I suck at itXD
AHHH... AND
THANK YOU FOR READING<3
LOVE: M.M.
PS. ARMYS LET'S DO THIS! WE NEED TO VOTE AT MAMA FOR OUR BOYS TO WIN DAESANG❤ I know it's pretty hard but every vote matters!
You can find tutorials from probably everywhereXD
Ok ok, not from everywhere, don't go to convenience store looking for tutorials:)
Fighting❤
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Beyond the scene: Jung Hoseok x BTS
Фанфіки"Just seeing your smile makes my day better." "Everyone loves you because around you they can be happy." "You are true angel." "Hobi, you are, have been and will always be my hope. Thank you." Hoseok has a...
