My Hamartia

What Is Life Without Any Regrets?

I knew I would regret this decision for the rest of my life but what is life without any regrets right?
Who am I kidding? This is going to be pure hell. I picked up my phone for the fifth time and taking a deep breath, I dialled the number my mother had provided me with.
As soon as he picked up, without any greeting, I immediately got to the point
"Ok. Listen Jack, you can move in but on a few conditions. You will pay rent and the bill for groceries. You will cook. No girls are allowed overnight. You will stay out of my way and not talk to me. Do not even think of being charming. We will remain civil. in a few months I want you out of here. Is that clear?"
"Yes Ma'am"
" If you try to even toe the line, I will throw you out. Are we clear?"
"Yes ma'am.
I cannot thank you enough for this Sophia. You have no idea how much of a burden has been lifted from my shoulders."
He made a move to start a casual conversation but I shut him down immediately. It would remind me how safe I felt while I was confiding all my deepest secrets to him. It may have been two years but truth to be told, I still found myself feeling a very, very basic attraction towards Jake, cause talking to him, and being enveloped in the warmth of his words would just remind of the wonderful times I spent with him . And that was an extremely dangerous territory.
"You can move in next week. On Monday
"ok. Thanks again. You have no idea how much you are helping me right now. See you next week."
"I'm not doing this for you" I replied bluntly
"Right. Of-course. Well then goodbye"
"Bye" I murmured.
As soon as I cut the call, the phone dropped out of my hand. Thank god the floor was carpeted. I crumpled into a heap. Talking to him took its toll on me. Even such a neutral topic such as moving in reminded me of the long conversations we used to have about almost everything under the sun. This was not healthy. He still affected me to a certain level. I think what they say about your first love. You can never forget them. But if he affects me like this all the time, it will be disastrous. Especially if I have to live with him. What do I do??!! Did I make a right decision by letting him stay? Did I give in too easily. It won't be the first time, would it? But then again, why would he want to stay with me? He even agreed to the no girls rule. So, no way he would want to rub the fact that he could get absloutley any girl he wanted to in my face. Ugh, it's always like this when it comes to Jackson Carter. He spins me off my centre. Right now I don't have the capacity to overthink. I'm too tired and require a bath really badly. Also Ben and Jerrys. And also some unadulterated girl time. So I decided to ring up Sasha. She's my only saving grace when it comes to such
situations. And by such situations, I mean situations involving Jack. She is my therapist, and she is going to blow her fuse, when she hears that I said yes, even thought she knows I had no choice. Great. I look forward to that.
Thanks Jackson Carter for somehow making my life more complicated than before.

Hey guys!! Looks like I am on fire today.
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XOXO
The MH Team