One Of The Girls

Chapter 17: Josh

I saw Jenna cracking the moment she admitted what they'd done.

"I screwed Alex!" she shouted at me, her face red with anger, "After you dumped me, I called him, and he was more than happy to keep me company!" She kept talking, but I wished she wouldn't. It was quickly obvious that Jenna's words were hurting her more than me. "Is that what you wanted to hear, Josh? I admitted it. Are you happy?" the first tear fell, and I couldn't fight with her anymore. I couldn't yell. I couldn't even muster up anger...Jenna has been so important to me for so long that it still hurts to see her in pain. "Are you happy? Now you can be with Beatrix, Josh. Isn't that what you wanted?" I could see each word she said driving the wedge deeper and deeper between us. This was the finale. We were over. We could no longer be friends after this: Jenna was hammering the nail on the coffin. She was saying goodbye.

"Jenna, you're just hurting yourself," I said, trying to reach out and touch her arm to calm her down.

She pulled it away like a hysterical wounded animal. Her tears were too many to count now, and I saw that Bee was crying too when I looked at her. "Don't touch me!" shouted Jenna. I wanted to console her, but I couldn't. I realized that it wasn't my place to do that anymore.

The librarian decides now is the time to step in, "What is the meaning of this?" the woman demands furiously. She is small and old, and nobody wants to give her a hard time. We all find it in ourselves to leave the matter alone. She sends Noah and I back to our class, and I look at Bee as I leave. She has to stay behind in the library with Jenna. They are both in tears, and I hate seeing it. I hate seeing the wreckage I've left behind.

Maybe taking all the blame for this is conceited of me, but it sure as hell feels like my fault.

Tired. My eyes keep drooping closed, but I can't fall asleep. It's pretty late, but all of the disjointed parts of today are bouncing around in my head, and I can't calm them down. My body feels restless like I need to do something important, but I have no idea what it is.

As miserable as I am, I know that Bee is in even worse shape. Though she wouldn't let on, anyone would be upset after everything that went down today. I want to check in on her, so I take out my phone and pull up her contact.

"Are you alr—" no, something else. I delete that.

"Hey, Bee, how are yo—" That's dumb. I already know the answer to that.

Something more casual would work better. "Bee! What's up?" I decide that's too casual.

As I am deleting the last attempt at a conversation starter, I hear the noise of Bee pulling up her blinds. I quickly sit up and turn towards my window. There, backlit by her bedroom light, is the most beautiful tearful face I have ever seen. She sniffs.

I stand quickly and walk to my open window. "What? These?" She wipes away her tears, "These just started. It's fine." Bee smiles at me, and I lean against the sill and smile back at her.

"Anyways," she says, "I know for a fact that we don't have any ice cream in our freezer, and I could really use some right now. Do you happen to have any?"

She always eats ice cream when she's upset. As unique as Bee is, this is one of her most cliched habits. I think back urgently. Did I see any ice cream in our fridge earlier? No.

"We don't have any." Bee deflates when she hears my answer. "But I do have a car."

This makes her smile. "Are you offering to drive me to get some right now?"

"Only if you're accepting my offer." Being away from her, yet so close to her, is harder than anything I've ever had to deal with. Knowing she's been hurting all evening and she's only yards away, and I can't reach her...that's agonizing. I want to be near her.