What If? (Negan) (COMPLETED)

Deception

At first when I return to my cell, it doesn't bother me at all.

but, when midnight strikes it all hits me like a ton of bricks.

As the clock down the hall chimes the midnight chime, I begin to cry.

I killed two guys, for the benefit of my doubt!

How could I have been so stupid???

I'm a good girl; I have never killed anyone/anything in my entire life....besides walkers.

When I was younger, I cried if someone stepped on a bug.

but now, I realize that what I did makes me just like him. 

I don't want to be like him!

The tears are coming at an unstoppable rate; my shirt was now soaked.

I wish I had a friend, or even a companion, to comfort me right now.

Eventually, though, I run out of tears. My eyes feel irritated, every part of my body hurts, and I'm way past the exhaustion point.

I can't focus on anything, and I feel like I'm slowly dying.

"Knock, knock pretty girl." 

It's none other than Negan.

I DO NOT want to see him right now. Hell, I'd be fine if I never had to see him again. He's a monster....

I don't speak, simply because I can't. My throat burns.

The keys jangle, and the door swings open. The familiar bright light flashes over me, and I flinch.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"

Ugh. I want to get up right now and punch him in the face, but I don't; I can't.

"Y-yeah." I say in a hoarse voice.

"Come with me. I have something for you."

For me?

What else could he possibly have for me?

I'm annoyed now.

He doesn't tie me up or anything, and I'm generally surprised.

He leads me into a luxury room with a nice bed, a couch and recliner, a small kitchen, and a table. There was books, a microwave, snacks of all kinds, and even a radio.

I'm surprised; annoyed to surprised in one split second.

"What is this?" I ask, clearly bewildered.

"This is mine and Lucille's home; where we spend most of our time relaxing."

Oh, right. The bat.

I didn't know some of this stuff still existed.

"H-how did you gain access to all of this?" I say, painfully.

"I just got lucky." 

I glance over and I see a huge jug of water. My throat yearns for it.

I don't know what to do, so I do what everyone else would do. I grab it and I start to run.

"Ah, ah, ah. Not so fast pretty lady."

He has me cornered. I sigh heavily and turn around to face him.

"I was gonna do a little somethin' special for you, then you go and steal from me?"

I swallow the huge lump that started forming in my throat.

"I-I'm sorry...I w-was th..." He cuts me off.

"I don't care. I don't want to hear any excuses. If you were thirsty, you should've just asked me. By what you just did out there, you have beach ball sized lady nuts."

I try not to laugh or smile. Of course, I fail.

I chuckle softly, but it was more of a nervous chuckle.

, but he's right. I'm a strong independent woman.

"Alright, Negan. I'm thirsty. Can I have this water?" 

I'm in his face now.

He smiles a wide smile; his white teeth shining in the light.

"Sure you can." He raises a brow.

I now have a chance to take in all of his features.

He's a tall muscular man. He's got beautiful brown eyes, shiny teeth, a beautiful smile, and that stubble that makes him attractive.

WAIT, WHAT???
DID I JUST FUCKING CALL NEGAN ATTRACTIVE?