What If? (Negan) (COMPLETED)

Realization

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I spend the rest of my night thinking about Negan.

I know I shouldn't think about him at all; he's done so many vulgar things.

but at the same time, he makes my heart want to beat out of my chest. 

I make a mental checklist in my head of the things he does to me.

~He makes me blush

~He makes me feel...different

~He makes me want to run, yet stay at the same time

~He makes me feel safe, despite his killing tendencies

~He scares the hell out of me, but I like it...

Wait....

A large lump forms in my throat. I suddenly feel like I can't breathe, so I drink some water.

I realize now what all of this means.

I am in falling in love with Negan; the same man who killed my two best friends a year ago.

How is this even remotely possible?

He has wives! I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Not being able to properly think, I step outside to get some fresh air.

The sky was just as dark as ever; there were only two or three stars shining. The air was chilly, but refreshing all at the same time.

I sigh, fiddling with my fingers. I mentally curse myself for ever even agreeing to Rick's plan. That's how all of this shit got started, anyways.