No Love // Lil Xan

•Six•

Everything is all my fault. I don't know what I did to deserve this pain. I can't handle this alone, but there's nobody who understands. The time 5:23am will always haunt me. The time of day I lost my baby. When I arrived to the hospital I was almost immediately rushed into a room. After a few tests, they figured out I had a miscarriage and that there was nothing they could do. I held my baby girl in my arms and couldn't help but sob the entire time. She was so tiny, so fragile, yet so beautiful. I decided to name her Raven, a name I've always wanted as my own. Nothing has ever been this difficult. The way her tiny hand latched onto my pinky, before going completely limp, as if she were to be telling me that she's okay. That part felt as if a knife pierced my heart. After saying goodbye to my little angel, which was the hardest thing I've ever done, I found myself at home, in my bed, and sobbing, silently. I don't believe in God, but I can't help but think that my little girl is in a better place now. I forced myself into a restless sleep, knowing I just needed some form of sleep.

- Diego -

Its about 12:49 and Veronica is still asleep. I love the hell out of that girl and I would do absolutely anything for her. I think she's depressed though, shes been distant lately and hasn't been the party animal she usually is. I stumble out of my thoughts to an idea. I grabbed my notebook and started writing lyrics, that I could maybe make into a song. I couldn't help myself but to write "And her pussy taste like skittles". I'm such a fool. After finishing up on the lyrics, I decide to cook up a meal.

"Hmm fuck is there to eat" I mumble to myself while looking for some food.

"French toast sticks sound bomb as fuck right now" I hear a voice belonging to Veronica, quietly say behind me.

"Holy shit butterfly you scared me" I flinched. "And you're right, French toast sticks do sound hella amazing right now".

I reach for all the ingredients and get to making the meal. God she's so beautiful and perfect. I refocus on what I'm doing and finish cooking. These look hella bomb. I put everything onto two plates and walk one to Veronica.

~Veronica~

Its been a crappy day all fucking day. I'm so lazy and all I can do is lock myself in a room and look at my old ultrasound picture and think of my beautiful baby. Diego asked me if I wanted him to throw a party tonight. I said yeah because drugs and alcohol will get this off my mind for a bit. The time is 8:50 I have about an hour till people start showing up, better get ready i guess.

-

It's about 10 o'clock and there's hella people here. The anxiety is already at its high. There's people already drunk and doing all kinds of pills. Someone's holding a bag of.. xanax. Without even thinking, my feet take me to the person and the bag is in my possession. I wonder what snorting them feels like. Not even 5 minutes later, I know the answer to my previous question. It feels like fucking heaven.

AHJDKCM sorry for not uploading for what seems like 209 years!