When you're tired of reading crap (Naruto cliches)

Uchiha Boy Toy

It's surprising how much inspiration you need to even rant. Though that could be mostly because I'm lazy af.

Anyways, let's get to the point. Today I'm going to rant about everything wrong with Sasuke Uchiha's love life.

There's so many things I hate about this kind of fanfictions that I don't even know where to start. So I decided to go chronologically.

1. Sob story- Her family was massacred.

I'm literally speechless. I don't know what to say other than "Someone, please, give these authors a dose of creativity."

It makes sense that you want your character to be able to relate with Sasuke. There are other, better ways to do that than killing off their family.

And when I say don't kill off their family I don't mean make them abusive. I've banged my head enough times after reading how Sasuke fucking Uchiha saves them from their abusive parents/relatives/siblings.

Why? We'll get to that later on.

2. Impossible!!!

That's the first thought in our dear Uchiha's head when the OC doesn't spare him a second glance.

It has to be the most stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Sure, all the girls in the academy like Sasuke. But there's also Hinata. Have you ever heard him say, "Hinata is different from the other girls. I have to keep an eye on her."

Or in more exaggerated cases, "How come she doesn't like me? Impossible! Hmm, interesting."

Sasuke doesn't give a shit people. That's the harsh reality.

He couldn't care less if the new student likes him or not. He doesn't care about anything other than getting stronger. If he did then Sasuhina would be canon. That's also the reason why Sasuke wouldn't go out of his way to save the OC from their abusive family. He just doesn't care.

So Sasuke being intrigued by the lack of interest from that one girl is... ridiculous.

3. Mature, not in a good way.

Now this has to be the most disgusting and mentally scarring(for me) point so far. Thirteen year olds don't. Make. Out. (Unless they had seriously shitty upbringing). That doesn't happen in real life.

A long, and I mean very long, time ago I read a fanfiction where the OC replaces Sakura in team seven. As usual, she was the perfect little angel who caught Sasuke's eyes from the get go. During the wave arc while staying at Tazuna's home they had a random heart to heart talk in his roof at night. (please note that prior to this, they were constantly at each others throat)

Boom! They're a couple.

And the worst part is that they made out that very same night and fell asleep in each others arms. There was tongue involved people! And they're thirteen.

I'm wholeheartedly thankful that the author showed restraint (cue the sarcasm) and didn't write lemons.

The author later justified their actions by saying they constantly face death. So it's perfectly normal for them to be more mature.

I'm guessing, by mature the author meant in a sexual way and not mental. Cause they sure didn't think this through. Like how their Jounin instructor might hear their moaning. *shudder*

Their interaction later on in the story, like how they were completely natural at kissing, complimenting, holding hands etc. seemed way too mature for their age to me. At least they should've been a little flustered while doing the deeds. (please kindly ignore my immature wording)

First of all, he wouldn't just tell a girl, even if she's his teammate, about his past, least of all his brother just to strike up a conversation (which he did in that fic btw).

Secondly, just because they have a dangerous career, in my opinion, it doesn't justify children making out. It's gross and forced. The author made them kiss the fuck out of each other just because it was a love story.

Sadly it wasn't the only fanfiction with this type of abomination I read.

Please, take it slow and keep things logical. Don't force them to do something they shouldn't just to satisfy your own fantasy. Keep in mind that at the end of the day they're still thirteen year old children.

That's all for today my friends. I hope I could get my point across. Let me know if you agree or disagree with me. Until next time.

-Klutzystar (It feels weird saying my own name for some reason)