January. // z.m. au

Chapter 21

R U Mine? | Arctic Monkeys

"I think I'm in love," was the first thing I said once Grace opened her front door. I hadn't seen Zayn since we kissed a few days ago, and boy I wasn't exaggerating when I said that I could still feel his lips upon mine.

I called Grace and Alexa earlier today telling them that we needed to meet up and that it was very important. Except it wasn't really to them, more so to me instead. I needed to spill the beans to someone, and I knew Alexa wouldn't give two shits about anything I was going to tell her, but she was my best friend so I had to.

I was met by an overly excited Grace and an already irritated Alexa when I walked into her house. She was already rolling her eyes but I couldn't seem to care because I was so damn happy and I just couldn't hide it.

"What happened with you and Zayn? Did you two have sex or something?" Grace beamed, practically bouncing up and down in her seat.

"No, we didn't, oh my god." I shook my head. And even if we had, which we wouldn't yet because it was way too early for that, I wouldn't tell them just yet because that was something private. Something that you wouldn't brag about because it would only be between the two of us.

"Wait, you two went on a date, right?" I nodded, still wearing the same smile I was when I first arrived. "Tell me everything!"

And so I did. I told her about how nervous we both were and how sweet Zayn was. I told her about how he asked if he could hold my hand and how I invited him into my house. And then I told her about how awkward it was when I tried to kiss him the first time and then she hit me out of excitement when I finally explained the kiss.

I almost reached into my pocket and dialed Zayn's number to tell him I needed to kiss him right now, but I decided against it because I couldn't be too needy. Besides, we weren't even like an official thing yet so I couldn't just do that, right?

"So are you two like together, together?" she asked and I swear I heard Alexa pretending to gag from the side. I really hoped she would at least pretend to care or even like Zayn one day. I mean, she was like the only one who didn't. Well, besides Dave, but that was only because he had a crush on me. Speaking of Dave, I still needed to figure out why he didn't want me to know his reasons for calling out of work last week...

"No," I let my head fall. "I don't know. Maybe? Well, no, because we haven't talked about anything."

"Well you can't be just friends because just friends don't just snog each other's faces off on a sofa."

True, but we'd only kissed and it wasn't like we've been doing that. Besides, I couldn't just go up to him like hey, um, are we like going out or something? because that'd just be weird and awkward and I'd already made a fool out of myself once, I wouldn't want to do it again.

"If you don't ask him, just go with the flow. It'll eventually come up, yeah? Don't force it just let it happen."

And I would. Even if it would be on my mind until it did.

***

I laid sprawled across my bed, my green eyes staring at the ceiling as if it were actually interesting. It wasn't, actually, I was just lost in thought. I thought about Zayn and his lips and his hands cupping my face and his lips and our skin colliding and his lips. Did I mention his lips?

And it was as if he knew I'd been thinking about him this whole time when my phone buzzed from the side of me. I immediately perked up, grabbing my phone only to notice that I had unread messages. One was from Grace telling me that she was so happy for me and that she wished me the best -- I really loved her a lot. Another was from Tina sending me my schedule for next week. And last, but not least, there was a new message from Zayn sent two minutes prior.

Of course my heart went pitter-platter and of course my skin started to blaze like wildfire. It was just the side effects that came with crushing on Zayn. But I didn't mind -- I couldn't afford to mind.

And so I carefully -- and slowly -- unlocked my phone, revealing the hidden treasure of a text message.

From Zayn:

Don't want to sound weird or anything but, like, I kind of miss you?

Oh god.

From Zayn:

Wait, that was kind of weird, yeah? god I'm sorry

From Zayn:

I really hope you reply soon so I don't look like a complete ass

I'm pretty sure my heart just fell out of my ass.

I was scrambling like a motherfucker trying to think of something to reply without sounding too needy and eager. I didn't want to embarrass myself in anyway. Not that I thought that he would mind, it's just I wanted to save myself the humiliation.

But then, without thinking, putting my heart on the line, I quickly typed a response and pressed send, throwing my phone like it was a hot potato onto my mattress.

And now we wait...

To Zayn:

If you're weird then I'll be weird with you and say that I kind of miss you too?

To Zayn:

Yup, definitely weird.

To Zayn:

I'm blushing right about now just in case you were wondering..

Not even a whole minute passed before I was reaching for my phone and reading the words that Zayn had typed out and sent to me. I was still kind of in shock, but I chose to ignore that part.

From Zayn:

good. not good that you're blushing. I mean that's kind of good, right? I meant good that we're both weird. never mind. can I see you?

He wanted to see me. Right now. Like come over? Oh boy, I don't think I could handle this torture any longer.

To Zayn:

Do you even have to ask?

***

IM SCREAMING WHY DID I DO THIS IM