My lover(sequel to My Host; namjin)

Namjoon

Standing by the door, I hide myself as Jin cries himself to sleep. My own tears blur my vision as I go back downstairs to pick up the mess from the party. I have work to do in my studio but I don't want to go too far in case he needs me.
I don't know what to do. I can't help him-as much as I want to. He won't open up and let me. I understand but it's tearing me apart. I'll stay by his side forever but I feel like he's going to push me away or resent me for it. Why did this have to happen? Why him?
    I finish the last of the mess and take a quick shower before sliding into bed beside my sleeping fiancé. I want to pull him into my arms but I'm afraid he'll wake up scared or get mad at me for touching him. I'll never push him like I did before. If I hadn't before, Jin would be fine. He'd still be mad at me but he'd remember all the good times as well.
    Now I'm working with a blank slate and I know most people would prefer this and think this a good opportunity to makes things different but I don't want to paint a fake picture for Jin to admire. I want him to know the real us, the real stupid me. Not the fake perfect boyfriend most would pretend for points. I would never do that to him. I love and respect him too much.
I roll over and just stare at his sleeping form, wishing more than anything I could just touch him, ease him. Make him realize how special he is to me and all around him. I know he's feeling inadequate but that's just ridiculous. He's absolutely perfect in every way with or without being able to walk or having a perfect memory.

      I'm waken to the sound of a yell. I shoot up straight and look around to find Jin on the floor holding his leg. I jump over the bed and kneel down to inspect his injury.
       Tears are in his eyes and he refuses to look at me, instead stares straight at the wall.
       "Baby, what happened?" I ask, voice low and calm.
        "I had to use the bathroom." He sighs and clears his throat.
         I frown. "Why didn't you wake me? I would have helped you." I say, upset. He could have really hurt himself.
        He scoffs. "I don't want help to the bathroom. I can do it." He says stubbornly. Biting my lip, I scoop him up in my arms and carry him to the bathroom much to his protest.
"I don't need help!" He yells and tries to kick his legs but they only jerk a little in my hold. I fight a smile as I put him on his feet, jerk his pants down and sit him down on the toilet. He flushed bright red and looks up at me with outrage. "Go away!" He pouts and crosses his arms. I lean back against the sink and mimic his posture.
"Go ahead and use the bathroom then I'll help you take a bath." I say much to his annoyance.
"I can't do it with you here! Can I please have some privacy!" He glares and I roll my eyes, walking into the bedroom to wait making sure the doors open in case he needs me. I'm not trying to embarrass him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, there's nothing he can do that will disgust or push me away.
I hear the toilet flush then struggles as he tries to turn the water on. I step back inside and watch as he tries to take his pants off, clutching the wall for balance. I have to hold back a laugh as his hand slips and he flails around for something to hold. I reach forward and grab his hips to steady him.
      He gasps in surprise and falls into my arms. I breath him in as I hold him close. "Told you to wait for me, baby." I say as I hold him and lean forward to start the water. I make sure he's fine propped against the wall before stripping out of my own clothes. His eyes widen and he looks away.
      "What are you doing! Stop!" He flushes as I pull him against my now naked body. I pull his shirt over his head and step into the shower, keeping a tight hold on him. He mumbles under his breath as I adjust the shower bench I got just for him to sit and rest. He pouts and watches me silently as I lather a loofa to wash him.
      I get down on my knees and take his leg, scrubbing gently. He flushes and chews on his bottom lip. I move to the other leg and work up a thick lather from ankle to thigh. I look up at him through my lashes to see his eyes closed and I watch in awe as his dick plumps under my ministrations. 
      I hesitantly slide my soap slicked hands over his inner thighs and watch with hooded eyes as his breath hitches and his nipples harden. "Jin-ah." I whisper darkly before leaning up and connecting my lips to his. He hesitates before opening his mouth and letting my tongue slip inside.
     I moan at his taste and he wraps his shaking arms around my neck as I slide my body in between his legs and grasp his hips to pull him closer. "I love you so much." I mumble against his lips.
       "Mhmm.." he moans into the kiss and I reach between us to rub our erections together. He gasps and throws his head back and I waste no time in attacking his neck with my lips and teeth. "Joon-ah." He pants.
       "Is this ok, baby? Can I show you how much I love you? Can I make love with you?" I whisper against his ear. He swallows hard before nodding. Smiling brightly, I finish cleaning and rinsing our bodies before turning the water off and picking Jin up, carrying him to the bedroom.
       As I toss him on the bed, he lays back and gives me a small smile as I admire his gorgeous body. He pulls me down to cover his body with my own and initiates the kiss this time. Groaning, I roll us so that he's straddling my hips, my dick rubbing sensually against his plump ass.
      He gasps and grinds down on me as I take hold of his hips, guiding his movements. He leans down and leaves sucking kisses on my neck before breathing in my ear. "I may not remember our relationship but my body obviously remembers yours." He gifts me with a huge smirk that I've missed. The sight of it almost makes me cry.
      I clear my throat and return his expression. "As many times as we've done this, it should be second nature, baby boy." I tease and he gasps as I thrust my hips up against his little hole. His body shudders over mine and I switch our positions once more. "Let me prepare you, sweetheart." I kiss him before crawling down his body and parting his thighs wide.
      I suckle his tip before taking his whole erection into my mouth. He yelps and tugs at my hair as I begin a slow bob up and down, teasing and tasting every inch of him. The vein pulses against my tongue and I slip it into his slit making him scream in pleasure.
      After a couple of minutes I can tell he's about to cum so I back off and push two fingers into his mouth. He sucks and licks them, soaking them with saliva and I take them out to tease his rim. "Ready baby?" I ask, groaning as I watch his ass try to clinch around the air. I slip a finger into his tight hole and he moans loudly.
"Uh huh.." he gasps and I begin to stretch him as carefully as I can taking in account that only a few days ago he was severely raped.
"I love you, Kim Seokjin." I meet his eyes and try to convey all the love I feel for him. He swallows hard and even though he doesn't say it back-I feel it. His love. For me.
I finish preparing him and caress his thighs as I line myself up. Keeping my eyes locked on his, I slowly slide inside him. Gritting my teeth from the tight, hot feel of him wrapped around my dick. I never break eye contact as I become fully seated inside him. I give him time to adjust to me and he nods.
Pulling him into my arms and resting my head in the crook of his neck, I begin a slow and steady pace in and out, grinding my hips against his at every connection. The sounds of pleasure from his mouth are like music to my ears and I take it all in as I steadily increase my pace, close to my limit.
Reaching between us, I pump his erection to heighten his pleasure and he cries out, moaning brokenly in my ear as I push him roughly towards his climax. He chokes and gasps out my name as he cums in my hand and I savor every sound and sensation around me, around us.
Now that he's cum, I focus on my own orgasm-now thrusting in and out hard and fast as he wraps his legs around my hips. "Ugh....Jin...I love you baby boy...you feel so good.." I groan, with one last hard slam-I cum deep inside him. He grunts from the hard hit but smiles at me all the same when I collapse onto his body.
He runs his fingers through my hair and chuckles. I lift up suspiciously. "What's so funny, princess?" I tease.
He scoffs indignantly at the nickname. "I was just thinking you went through all that trouble to give us a bath and now we need another one." He pouts and I kiss his lips.
"I don't mind. Maybe we can have round two in the shower." I raise my eyebrows suggestively as he smacks my arm in amusement.
"You're crazy." He huffs.
"Yeah. Crazy in love...with you." I laugh and dodge another hit.
"Stop it!"