Billion Dollar Contract (Editing Current Chapters)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I laid in the guest bed, my knees pulled up against my chest. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Jason had to force me to even shower. I couldn’t hold it against my brother. He was only looking out for me, but I wanted to be alone. Vane had tried to talk to me several times, but I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to look into the eyes of my dead son’s father. Call me morbid. Call me cruel. But I just wasn’t going to torture myself that way.

 

Humming to myself, I traced the blue baby blanket with my fingers. Tears sprung to my eyes again, and I couldn’t bite back the sobs. I never could. It was like I wasn’t in control of my body, and nothing would ever be normal again.  I would never be allowed to hold Keegan in my arms.

 

About nine months ago, I wouldn’t have thought I would be this wrapped up in my new life. I didn’t know I would become this attached. How could I have allowed myself to love someone this much? Why did any woman become a mother if there was always a chance that their child could be ripped away from them? What had I done wrong? I had taken such good care of myself and my baby. Now he was gone.

 

Vane always tells me through closed doors that it wasn’t anything I did. But how would he know that? he was probably trying to make me hop back up onto the saddle and try again. I never wanted to try again. I didn’t want to ever feel like this again.

 

There was a quiet knock at my door. I cast my eyes in that direction, but didn’t respond. I felt too drained to even mutter a word. My entire body was heavy and the pain burned like a fire. After my hesitation, the door opened and Jason entered the room, carrying a white plastic bag.

 

“Hey, Sin.” He gave me a gentle smile before sitting on the foot of my bed. “I brought you something to eat.”

 

I clutched Keegan’s blanket closer to my chest. “I’m not hungry.” Jason’s smile faltered and he sighed.

 

“You should really try to eat something. It’s not good to starve yourself.” He opened the bag and pulled out a white container. “I bought chicken fried rice.”

 

I shook my head, looking away from my brother. “Really, I am not hungry. Thank you, though.” To my surprise, he didn’t push the issue.

 

“Vane is worried about you.” Hearing his name made my heart clench. I buried my face in the blanket to shield my face from view. “I know you care about him, Sinclair.  You aren’t the only one hurting.” I didn’t respond right away. “Sin, you need to talk to him. He hasn’t seen you since that night at the hospital. You have completely shut him out.”

 

I glared at Jason, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I am sure that he doesn’t want to see me anyway. I wouldn’t want to.”

 

“Sin! He has been sleeping outside of your fucking door for the past three weeks! He has been asking you everyday to talk to him, and you don’t even say a word to him.” Jason raised his voice, making me flinch. “Talk to him, before something bad happens.”

 

My bottom lip quivered. “I’ve already lost Keegan.” I looked down at my nearly flat belly, the slight layer of fat the only proof that Keegan had ever rested there. “What else could I lose?”