One Shots

Superwoman - Matt Espinosa Imagine for Rachel

*requested*

For Rachel, aka @rach3l0k

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Superwoman - Matt Espinosa Imagine for Rachel

I quickly pulled on my jacket over the green tank top I had on. I pulled my hair out of the back of the jacket and let the light brown hair fall down my back. I looked up and at myself in the mirror, studying my features. There were large bags under my eyes from restless nights. I may stay up every night nowadays, but at least I wasn’t self-harming anymore…

Until last night. One thousand fans or so were sending me so much hate on Twitter until 3 am last night. It used to not bother me one bit, but for some reason, everything they were saying just hurt too badly. I got out my razor blade and sliced each of my wrists. The blood dripped everywhere.

The sunlight was pouring in through the window, and I was blinded by the light. 70 degrees and I wore a medium thick jacket. I would probably be sweating but I would do whatever it took to cover up my scars. I’d stopped my cutting a couple months back, but the scars were still clearly visible. They were a huge flaw to my otherwise generally attractive body. I liked my hair… my face. I sighed, grabbing my wallet and phone and heading out my bedroom door to wait for Matthew in my front yard.

We’d been dating for a while, a couple months or so, and he knew about my original cutting and really helped me stop. I’d appreciated all the help he’d given me and I couldn’t ask for anyone better to help me through my fight. He would constantly ask me if I was okay.

“Hey, Rachel,” he said happily, standing outside his car that was parked in front of my house.

“Hey, Matt,” I said, smiling as I walked towards him. I tugged the sleeves of the jacket down my arms to ensure the scars were covered.

“Oh my gosh, Rach, aren’t you hot?” he asked, looking at my jacket. He pulled on one of the sides. I staggered away, nervous.

“No, no, no I’m fine,” I said, stuttering. I looked at the ground. Matt gave me a weird look, but I tried to shake it off. “So… uh… where’re w-we g-goin?” I asked.

“Thought we’d get lunch. That cool?” he asked. I nodded and he opened the car door for me. I stepped inside and he hopped in. The ride was mostly quiet, very unusual. I kept the sleeves pulled past my hands.  He finally pulled to a stop in front of our favorite *unhealthy* restaurant. But he sat for a second, looking down at the steering wheel.

“Rachel.”

“Yes?” I asked, looking down at my shorts.

“What did you do?” he asked. I had to tell him. There was no secrets between us, and I knew that. I just cried. I buried my face in my hands. “Oh, my gosh, Rachel,” Matt said, suddenly very nervous. He wrapped an arm around me. He held me while I cried… for at least 10 minutes. There was no sound except for his ‘shhh’s and my sobs.

After a while, Matt let go and began to pull off my jacket. I didn’t fight him. He was gentle, his eyes not leaving mine. The jacket was off. He reached down for my hands, glancing at my wrists. He saw the scars. The new ones.

“Rachel.”

“Matt, I know,” I tried to tell him that I knew what I did was wrong.

“Please don’t do this to yourself. We all love you. And I’m so sorry I’m the reason that you’ve done this to yourself. You don’t deserve it. You’re too perfect for anything this awful to happen to you. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Matt. I’m sorry too.”

“You don’t have to be,” Matt said, wiping a couple tears from my cheeks. “I’m going to help you. I’ll always be here. You don’t have to be Superwoman, you know.” He kissed my nose.