HEART LIES

SCREENPLAY

Sa-rang didn't know one could play with life, yet she discovered how easy it was to manipulate its course as she stared at the dissolution of her marriage.

Everything went the way she planned, and now she sat drinking wine, smoking the first and last cigarette of her existence in this high-rise apartment.

Freedom, at last, she was free to live and die the way she desired with no more strings attached. No husband, no daughter, she should be happy; this was happiness.

Then why did she have this wet sensation on her cheeks?

There was no stopping the tears, which fell faster, fleeing under her chin as she rose her head from the damp papers she stared at.

"Wae, WAE? 정신 차려요[cheong sin cha ryeo-yo=get a hold of youself] Sa-rang," she ran her fingers through her hair, slapped the tears away, and took a few sips of her Bordeaux.

Alcohol, cigarettes, fast-foods during her entire life, Sa-rang avoided them, scared to hinder her lifespan. Now death waited for her despite the precautions she took. For the little time left, she would dance with the demons, do cartwheels while walking the line between life and death.

A new University semester was at hand, Sa-rang pepped talked herself. This year would be her last, the one they would remember her by; the professor had to be worthy of her reputation.

Also, Sonmi would attend Yonsei's pre-medical faculty. Proud and perplexed, Sa-rang still didn't know what to think of her daughter's choice.

Sonmi despised her; the young woman accused Sa-rang of her devotion to her job and the destruction of their happy life.

Despite the resent Sonmi had for her mother, she decided to follow in Sa-Rang's footsteps, choosing to become a doctor for an obscure reason, leaving her mother wondering about her intentions.

Never mind, Sonmi's life belonged to herself and was no longer in Sa-Rang's hands. Besides, she had In-Sung, the good father, to take care of her like he always had.

Sa-Rang had a lousy role, which almost made her feel like a surrogate mother. She carried Sonmi for nine months, but Sa-Rang's ambitions and constant absences due to her profession alienated and made her a stranger to her daughter after her birth.

And the last year swept away any sentiment of affection the young woman had for her mother.

Sa-Rang's divorce created two groups, those who supported In-Sung and reminded him daily how Sa-Rang looked down on him, stripping him of his Alpha male title.

No one brought up his affair, almost pitying In-Sung for having to resort to infidelity to find comfort.

Others stood by Sa-Rang. She was the victim, cheated on by a man who could not handle having a successful wife, her shortcomings as a wife found justification in the fact she worked to save lives.

For many, In-Sung took advantage of Sa-Rang's overflow of work to get a side dish. Friends empathized with her, bringing up how men always ran to younger women.

This confusion made Sa-Rang smile, she wrote the scenes, but she didn't hold the key to people's perception. A hint of guilt painted the face which gazed at Seoul's rooftops. Both her ex-husband and daughter were unaware of her condition. Sa-rang gave them no choice in deciding their final cut in her life.

The burden Sa-rang would leave was heavy. Blame and shame would haunt them, but this was better than letting them see the physical decline of a woman.

Sa-rang knew how people in her condition ended having lost grandmother and mother to Cancer. To see the physical breakdown of someone left scars that never healed. She remembered how little she begged her mother to do chemotherapy, the regret of forcing her mother to live such a traumatizing experience when hope had already packed its luggage for another destination coated memories that lingered.