HEART LIES

DEGENERATION

"Sa-rang, I'm sorry," Dr. Hong said as he tried to retain his sorrowful expression.

"No, doctor, it's not your fault. It's just I'm surprised at the progress."

"I told you without treatmentㅡ," doctor Hong sighed, "I regret Sa-rang, I attempted to accept your choice, but I don't understand why. You are smart. You know how it works. Why give up? You've never given up anything in your entire life."

"Perhaps I'm tired of fighting."

"You've always fought for others' lives, and you, you just," Dr.Hong sighed again.

"It's too late anyway, doctor Hong," Sa-rang said, grabbing her scans and getting up.

"You know we can operate, you'llㅡ."

"I don't want to spend my last weeks in bed."

Sa-rang thought of Ji-Seong; she knew what she desired; it was something the woman forbid herself to say. She glanced at her watch, "I guess this was the last check-up."

"Sa-rang."

"From the progression, I have a month. I won't even finish the school's semester."

Director Hong's mouth dropped open; he expected anything except for the woman to worry for the university year. The hospital director had always been intrigued by his student.

Lee Sa-rang, her whole exterior, was cold, yet she dedicated herself to others.

Sa-rang had everything. Still, she was empty. Lee Sa-rang's behavior resembled one of a latent sociopath, yet she was anything but that.

Here for the first time, the director saw her lie. If up till now Dr.Hong believed in her will to die, he suspected her of wanting to live by the way her eyes fell when she saw the x-rays, but he also saw the woman accept the fatality.

Professor Lee was one month away from death.

"Thank you for everything, doctor Hong,"

The woman outstretched her hand, and Dr. Hong shook it with both of his hands while holding back his tears. It was difficult to acknowledge the disappearance of the woman who stood before him.

Lee Sa-rang was one of the brightest doctors he had seen in his life. What a pity and waste, he thought, but he had no right on her. Doctor Hong could not force the woman to change her mind.

"What will you do now?

"Work."

The apparent answer made Doctor Hong smile; this was workaholic Sa-rang's pride, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes, please try to convince Sonmi to undergo exams, we are not speaking, and she doesn't trust my word at all."

"Is she aware of your condition?"

"No, and I want to keep it that way."

"How in the world did you think you could convince her when keeping her in the dark?"

"Please, doctor Hong you're my last hope. I can't do anything more for her."

"Alright, I'll try."

With these words, Sa-rang left the doctor's office, and for the fourth time in her career, she called in sick. Though in front of the director of Hong Byeongwon, she acted in total indifference now alone, she shook with fright.

A month was a formality; in reality, she was already a corpse. Her cells had much degenerated, she vomited a great deal of blood, and sometimes she found herself paralyzed, and then she would regain her functions.