Rock Bottom~Luke Hemmings

Tossing and Turning

Aubrey:

I couldn't get him out my mind. He kept coming back, no matter how much I tried to push him to the back of my mind. His golden hair, ocean blue eyes, his sly smile. I couldn't get... him out of my mind.

I grabbed my jacket and decided to have a face to face conversation with the man I once called my own. The cold air hit my nose as I covered it and walks down the street, walking to his apartment.

My hand shakily raised to the wooden door. Waiting. The anticipation getting the best of me and I knocked on the door. My ears perked up to a quiet "coming."

The door swung open and I saw his tall frame towering over me, "Aub... what are you doing here?" His voice cracked slightly at my name.

"I am having this conversation with you now. It's better than never. All I wanted was respect."

"Aubrey, its been years-"

"I wanted you to see me and never want to lose me. I was so afraid that you would see me... how I saw me... and then one day you did..."

His eyes watered and he shook his head, "See you as you did? I was so... freaking scared of losing you. So scared I would never wake up to you again... I was going to ask you to marry me... the weekend after the week you broke up with me."

I covered my mouth, "A-After five years... but you said that you didn't want to get married until you knew and that it would take at least-"

"Ten years... well my love for you changed so drastically I knew in half the time. I didn't want to hurt you-"

"You," I raised my voice, "you left me. I told you to leave but I never wanted... you to leave. I was down with your shit, but I loved you. I loved you so much it hurt. And you broke my heart by not... by not coming back..."

"Well I never meant to do that to you... and I love you even to this day." My heart sped up, "But you need to go home. You have a boyfriend... and this isn't... what we were supposed to come back together."

My whole world fell again. I had been praying things would piece back together... but they didn't... and they never will. I nodded, weakly.

"Goodnight, baby girl..." he closed the door and my heart broke, hearing the nickname another time after my world crumbled...