Chasing Our Dreams [f.a]

Indian Grand Prix, Buddh

~ AGE 30 ~

VALENCIA, SPAIN

It was almost the end on June, 2012. Year 2011 was hectic, I think that is the only word to describe everything that happened. I was wrong with so many things in my life, but not letting Fernando pass Petrov in that final race of Season 2010 wasn't a mistake. I was a professional, I worked my whole life to get where I was, and I showed the world that I earned my place in the sport. Since that Abu Dhabi race, Formula One world was crazy about me. I had some amazing and some crazy offers to switch teams, I even got a chance to work under Adrian Newey in Red Bull. I rejected every single one of them, mainly because I had on-going contract with Renault, but mostly because I felt like I owe them to stay. Technically, my contract expired and I needed to sign a new one, because Team Renault that I originally signed contract with didn't exist anymore, but I signed a new one - with Lotus Team, because they were the ones that brought in, and I was brought to make the car for that Team. I was in Renault to prepare the car and be in the middle of things.

Maybe I made a mistake, staying in with Lotus, because it turned out to be hell for me, but then again, I can't imagine how my life would turn out if I hadn't stay. Sometimes, I think that everything happens for a reason, and when I say that keeping Petrov in front of Fernando wasn't a mistake, trust me, it wasn't.

We made our peace, Fernando and I. We lived our lives together, we had our differences and no Championship title could stand between us. Well, we kind of needed a year or so to work thing out, but... Year 2012, when we arrived to Valencia for the European Grand Prix, we were in a good place.

Lotus Team arrived from Enstone to Valencia on Wednesday evening, on the week of the race. As usual, we had an evening off, to settle in and prepare things for the Thursday's session. And as usual, I was at the hotel bar, with my second driver and a good friend, Romain Grosjean.

I met Romain during 2009 Season, while he was testing, and later driving for Renault, along side Fernando, after the Crash-gate. We clicked off right away, he was a nice and kind guy, and I liked to hang out with him. Season 2011 was hard for me, Kubica injured his hand and he had to leave F1, and I lost my friend and my guy. I resented Petrov, even tough it wasn't him to blame for Fernando not talking to me, Heitfeld was in his own world, and Senna - Senna was hard to watch. My all time hero was his uncle, and Bruno was just struggling with the car, with the tracks and everything. When I was told that Senna would drive my car, I felt like my every dream was coming true, but he was nothing like his uncle, and I was sad and pissed off.  I had screwed up drivers, my team was still falling apart and rising again, and my friend wasn't talking to me. For some time of the season.

And then, the end of the season was even better. Rumors were all over the place that Kimi Raikkonen was coming back, and you can only imagine my excitement because of that, but when I was told that I was going to work with him for the Season 2012, I wanted to kill myself. Literally.

''Hey, Princess, what are you drinking?'' Kimi placed his precious head between me and Romain.

''Bugger off, Kimi.'' I simply said and continued my conversation with Romain.

''C'mon, Princess, I'm bored. Have a drink with me.'' Kimi was persistent.

''We are not drinking, it's race weekend. I have to be sober, and so do two of you.'' I pointed my finger to Romain and Kimi, respectively. ''Juice, see, you idiot? And go away.''

''How's my car?''

''I will talk about the car with you tomorrow, when I have to. Leave, please. There are so many things in my life that I don't was to do, but I have to - looking at your ugly, stupid face right now is one of them.'' most of the time I was nice and shy, but Kimi had a way to get the worst out of me.