Chasing Our Dreams [f.a]

Chinese Grand Prix, Shanghai

~ AGE 12 ~

PHONE CALLS

''It's for you.'' Dublin stormed into my bedroom. ''Your boyfriend.''

''Give me that!'' I raised my voice and took the phone from my younger sister. ''He's not my boyfriend.'' I hissed at her. I hated her to bits. She was mean. She was all nice and shiny to everyone else. Me, however, she couldn't stand for some reason.

''Hello, best friend.'' I said into the phone. Even hearing him breath on the other side of the line could make me smile.

''Fighting again with Dublin?'' he asked with his Spanish accent addition to the sentence.

''As always. She's mean little sh... You know I'm not allowed to say words like that.''

''What you've been up to?'' Fernando asked one thing he asks always. And the he always know the answer to.

''Drawing a bit. I've thinking...'' I said, and he cut me off.

''What? Designing my new cart?'' I could hear him laugh.

''There's not much to design there, we both know that. But you know I love your helmet to bits... And, you know... I've been thinking about these new regulations...'' there was always one thing we could talk about. We were both passionate about racing and Formula One. He was just a kid dreaming to get into that car once in his life, and I devoted all my spare time into analyzing cars and drawing them.

''Why did I even doubt it? You've been drawing Senna's new car?'' he teased. He loved Senna just as much as I did, he just didn't wanted to admit it.

''No. Senna will do just fine this season without my help. But I think a lot of things could be done with that car. And I love him for moving to Williams, he's gonna kick some ass this season!'' Senna was my hero.

''You know you're not allowed to say things like that? Dublin could hear you and then sell you out to your mama...''

''You ready for tonight?'' I asked. First of season 1994 was scheduled that night, Brazil, Interlagos.

''Schumacher could do some damage this year, don't be surprised. Senna should watch his back.'' Fernando's favorite thing was to get on my nerves.

''Leave, now. I'll call you next Sunday, my turn. Can't wait for the Summer to see you again.'' we were done with our ten minutes phone call per week.

We weren't ungrateful. It was better than all those letters we sent to each other over the years, I had boxes full of them.

***

''Ola senor Jose. Es Fernando a casa?'' it was my turn to call.

''London! Es tan bien oirte! Fernando esta aqui. Como esta?'' Fernando's father was always in the mood to talk.

''Bien, gracias. No contar nuestras minutos hasta que llega al teléfono. Adios!'' I was impatient to hear my friend.

''London?! My dad something about a city calling me...'' I heard familiar voice on the other side of the line.

''Oh, I am so going to kill you for that! Hi.'' I was always teased for my name, and kids always called by different cities, never by my name.

''Hi, amiga. Drawing again?''

''Yes. Just finished Paris' school assignment. The girl can't draw a thing.'' in my family, we split our talents. I was amazing with pen and paper, Dublin sang like an angel, and Paris... Well, she was still a baby, so we didn't know yet what she'll be good at. By that time she was good at gymnastics, so I predicted that her talent is sports.

''Do you help Dublin with school?'' Fernando teased. He knew too well that things between me and Dublin are very bad.

''Dublin has friends. They can help her.'' I didn't want to talk about that little brat during my valuable ten minutes per week.

''I have some troubles at school.'' it was the first time he complained. For real.

''You need me to do your Arts assignment?'' I wanted to cheer him up.

''No, London. I spend all my time in cart and mentoring around. Papa said that I need to pay for my races on my own. I don't get to go to school on Mondays, so I'm pretty behind with it.''

''How can I help?'' that was the only thing I wanted to do.

''Oh, amiga. I wish you were here...''

''Then I could do your homework and you could drive your cart all day long. It's gonna be fine. You'll pick up your grades. If you go bad this year, I will tutor you whole summer. School is rubbish. Here and there, both.'' we had our troubles. Fernando with grades. I had mine with social life.

''Ready for the Imola today? Told you Schumacher will kick some ass this season. He's going to be a champion.'' Fernando just didn't want to stop with that guy.

''Maybe one day Michael could kick your ass... Senna is going to win this one. Trust me. We're nine minutes already. Call me next week?'' time goes fast when you're having good time.

''Por supuesto. My turn next week. Te quiero, amiga. Eres mejor.''

I closed my eyes.

''I love you, too. And you are my best friend.''

***

At the start of the race, Lehto's Benetton stalled and was hit by Pedro Lamy's Lotus. Debris from the crash, including Lamy's right front tire, flew into the grandstand and injured four spectators and a policeman. Lamy was unhurt but Lehto received a light arm injury. The Safety Car was called out with Senna leading Schumacher, Berger, Hill, Frentzen and Häkkinen.

The race restarted at the end of lap 5. Senna tried immediately to pull away from Schumacher, with Berger and Hill behind. 

It was a good start of what should have been a good race. I smiled to my self. I was certain that Senna will do this one good, and that next week I would be the one teasing Fernando. God, how was I wrong.

At the start of the 7th lap, Senna lost control and his car went straight on at Tamburello into an unprotected concrete wall. The suspension of the Williams broke on impact, the tire flying backwards and hitting Senna on the head. The car slid to a halt on the circuit.

My whole body was frozen. I could barely move. I could see my hero moitionless. Senna was being airlifted to the hospital. My head was pounding as I was watching at the TV screen, tears streaming down my face.

I could hear phone ringing from somewhere, but I wasn't sure. Maybe it was all in my head.

''Big sister, the phone is for you.'' my baby sister, Paris, was standing at the door.

I couldn't move. Fernando's voice was on the other side of the line.

''Are you ok? London, are you ok?!'' he was worried. We were kids, and we were already feeling each other.

''Has it been a week? Why are you calling?'' we just talked, couple hours ago. He wasn't supposed to call up until next week.

''London, talk to me!'' he yelled.

It was like he called me back to my head.

''I don't think he is going to make it.'' I finally realized.