The Adsertor

A new Friend, Maybe?

Marcus still didn't know what exactly to think of Nero. During dinner he hadn't spoken a word. To be fair he hadn't said anything either but he had been to surprised to come up with an acceptable topic to begin the conversation. 

He had just muttered a near-silent "bye" when Nero had left to wherever he slept. 

Marcus had been surprised when he found out the Cat didn't sleep in the same dormitory as the rest of the male contestants. "Maybe he doesn't sleep with us because he used to be a slave and the supervisors don't trust him with the rest of us." He had heard Gunnarr whisper. Although the thought was quickly dismissed, seeing they all were capable to protect themselves and each other as it was exactly why they were here. 

Marcus had let the vines grow but not as tightly together as usual. He listened to the males discussing the most popular subject of the week. Poor thing, He thought, but secretly he was a little glad the attention was off him for a little. He hated himself for it as he didn't wish it upon anyone to be treated the same way. With the soft sound of voices around him Marcus dozed off to sleep.

Marcus had woken up early and gone to the training room and started his training as usual. He tried the double kick again, it didn't work and he landed flat on his face. He growled. The stag didn't force himself to stand up and as he lay there he noticed he wasn't alone in the training room, which was not at all usual.

 It was Nero who was using the equipment and he seemed to be kicking the dummy rather hard, seeing it was swinging violently. Marcus kept watching eagerly when he remembered it was the second time in less than twenty-four hours he had openly gawked at the male. 

He returned to his own dummy. With a new found energy the stag started to attack his straw opponent. He pushed it back with one arm and when it came swinging back he kicked and spun so he could use more force when he kicked it again. But before he could finish the move he lost balance and fell flat on his face...again. 

Marcus looked up if Nero had seen his obvious second failure but the male didn't show any sign of emotion. Marcus sighed in relief. For some reason he didn't want Nero to see him like this. Maybe it was because he was the only one who wasn't yet part of Nikora's clique and the only contestant who didn't yet fear her. Which made him the only possible person he could still befriend. And in that moment Marcus realized how lonely he truly was and how desperate he was for a friend. In that particular moment Marcus decided he wanted to at least try to become Nero's friend. New determination filled him. He stood up and went back to work. He kicked the dummy and spun around he twisted his spine but his foot couldn't turn and he fell on the ground again. Marcus let out a laugh: "Gods, this is anti-climactic." He said to himself.

...

"This is the best shot I've got to become Nero's friend." He spoke aloud, mustering up courage. "Gods, I am an Idiot!" He looked again at his reflection, "Why is this so difficult?" and left the bathroom. He grabbed his breakfast from the breakfast table and went to find his usual spot. Nero was already there and he sat down in front of him. Every shred of courage left him immediately. They just ate their breakfast in silence. The Cat was totally oblivious to the inner turmoil of the stag in front of him. And when he left Marcus couldn't supress the feeling of disappointment blooming in his chest. He would have a chance at lunch, He thought.

...

It never seemed to work. Marcus tried to talk to him every damn meal but the moment he looked at the male's face he became an utter mess. A week had passed since he had arrived and still he hadn't spoken to him. To be fair he wasn't the only one. Nobody had dared to speak to the new participant yet. He didn't know if it was admiration or fear. 

The male also hardly trained with them, not the special classes at least. Every day he was in the gym training but never with the rest of them. Marcus thought it to be more and more like a lost cause. At least they always sat at the same table and Nikora's clique didn't dare whisper about them during the food breaks and it didn't feel as awkward anymore. 

Marcus thought about the exercises he had yet to complete. His double twist they were taught last week, was still a complete failure. He couldn't help but wonder how it would be if he had a friend, like Nero, he could train with and couldn't help the pit of helplessness in his stomach. He just wanted a friend. Was that to much to ask?

He desperately clung to his thoughts of everything getting better but his mind was sinking in a downwards spiral and he couldn't seem to get out. A voice that sounded an awful lot like his own repeated the words over and over again: You are alone.

He picked up his tray and threw all the untouched food in the rubbish bin and stormed out of the room. He desperately needed to punch something. The stag had been so consumed by his mind that he hadn't noticed Nero, whose eyes were glued on him the entire dinner.

...

The training room was empty because everyone was still at dinner. Marcus began kicking one of the dummies. He punched it with al his might and after a few seconds he felt the anger flow out of him. With his hands on his knees he stood there, panting and breathing hard. The sweat was dripping from his forehead and he wiped it away but there was no power in the gesture. Hot tears were running down his cheeks. He fell on the mat and he lay there, watching the ceiling. His hands started to sting and when he looked he saw his bloody knuckles. 

 "We need to take care of that." A voice said from behind him. Marcus turned around and saw Nero standing a few feet from the door. He had a soft smile on his face and Marcus realized he had never seen him smile before nor heard him talk. It was nice to see a friendly face for the first time in three months. "yeah" he agreed with a soft voice. He didn't dare speak up louder in fear that his voice would crack. But The Cat had probably seen the entire scene. Marcus sighed, got up, wiped away his tears and followed the male out of the training room.

...

It was awkward! Marcus didn'tknow what to say and Nero was concentrating on bandaging his hands.

 Marcuslooked at the male as he was working. His blond hair was in desperate need of acut and it didn't seem to be his natural hair colour. Marcus thought he couldsee the beginning of darker roots peeping out. 

Up close he could also see the few blemishesof his skin and a spot or two. Nero's cat eyes were a light brown colour and inthe candle light they turned golden. His expression was fixed on his hands. 

Whowould have figured a full mental break down would make me brave enough to talkto him? Marcus thought. "He spoke to you first." His thoughts noted and Marcusalmost rolled his eyes Instead he laughed out loud, an almost hysterical laugh. 

Nero looked up to make sure he was okay. "It's just, I didn't know how to speakto you but I guess the problem solved itself." Marcus explained, feeling boldand he could have sworn he saw Nero blush slightly. 

"I didn't think anyonewould want to speak to me," Nero said, "I just hoped you wouldn't mind mesitting at your table." His words took Marcus by surprize. "Why would nobodywant to talk to you?" Nero looked at him as if he had sprouted antlers and tobe fair, that was possible but he didn't think it was because of his change. 

"Idon't know if you knew but I am a slave, known for killing and murdering others.I don't know how that could possibly make me likeable." Nero was not meetinghis eye, his shoulders were tense. Marcus tried his best to sound reassuring: "You needn't worry about that here, we alldid some horrible shit in our lives and sometimes we chose the wrong path butyou, you never had a choice. And Please never blame yourself for the things youcouldn't change or didn't choose." 

Nero's eyes were shut and he lookedexhausted, as if he had been carrying a burden for a long time and the stag didn'tknow what to do. The cat took a deep breath in and said: "I can teach you howto do that double kick you have been struggling with." Marcus grimaced. "I hadhoped you hadn't seen that." Nero smirked, "I did, now please let me help youbecause you were absolutely horrifying to watch. I am quite surprized yousurvived this long without me or any help." Marcus put away the first-aid kit. "Raceyou to the training room?" Nero ran and shouted: "The game is on!"