What Are You So Afraid Of? [Harry Styles]

Chapter 16

“Right, so back there are our bunks,” Niall pointed to a section of bunks on the bus that was concealed by a thin curtain. “And over here are yours.”  He gestured around to four bunks on the bus that seemed like they were built into the walls.

“Why are our bunks up front?” Haz asked as she set down her bag on one of the bunks.

“So you guys get woken up first,” Niall said and grinned.

Jez walked from behind Haz to set her bag on the opposite bunk, “Goodbye, privacy. Goodbye peace and quiet,” she muttered to herself as she tied her hair back into a ponytail.

“Stop complaining, I’m sure it will be fun,” Alex said as he crouched down to the bunk underneath Haz’s.

“I’m not complaining,” Jez said innocently. “I’m stating facts.”

“So where is everyone else going to sleep?” Haz asked curiously.

“The crew, band and styling team have their own bus,” Niall clarified. “Uh, yeah, so I guess that’s it.” He shrugged. “I’m gonna go find the other boys.”

Once he left, Haz jumped onto her bunk, sighed heavily and rolled until she was lying face down into the mattress.

“What’s your problem?” Alex asked, looking at his phone.

Haz mumbled something into her pillow that sounded like, “Irish,” and, “Adorable.” Jez rolled her eyes and hopped onto her own bunk.

Later that evening, Jez got up to go to the kitchen. She had been trying to fall asleep for what felt like the past hour, but the constant moving of the bus made it difficult for her. Once she got to the kitchen, she heard ruffling noises and quickly turned on the light. Soon after she heard the sound of something crashing to the floor.

“Harry?” Jez asked in surprise as soon as she registered him standing there, wearing sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

“Don’t scare me like that!” He whispered relief clear in his voice. He bent down to pick up the pieces of the glass he was holding when the bus suddenly jerked forward. “Ouch,” he muttered, looking down at his cut hand.

“Are you okay?” Jez asked with concern.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Harry whispered and continued to pick up the glass.

Jez rolled her eyes, “You can’t clean up glass that way, you idiot.” She walked over to one of the kitchen cabinets and searched for a brush and a small dustpan. She kneeled down beside him and started to push the glass into the dustpan. Once she got it all in, she threw the contents in the bin. Then she searched through a few cabinets before finally finding a first-aid kit.

“I’m fine, really-“ Harry started saying but Jez pushed him gently back to lean against the counter.

“Let me clean it,” Jez whispered and pulled out the disinfectant. She gently reached out for his injured hand and held it between two of her own, looking at it closely. “The cut isn’t that deep,” she said while she looked at the little droplets of red blood seeping through the surface.

She looked up at Harry and found him staring intently at her, “Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, looking away quickly from his intense gaze and putting some disinfectant on a piece of gauze.

“Yeah,” Harry’s raspy voice replied. “Usually, I never really get any sleep on the first day of being on the road. It takes me a while before I get used to it.”

Jez nodded and wiped away the blood with the piece of gauze; Harry hissed and tried to pull his hand away but she held it firmly, “Don’t be such a girl.” Harry rolled his eyes but winced as she cleaned the wound out.

“Why did you get up?” he asked as soon as Jez reached for a Band-Aid.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Jez replied and looked up at him, smiling. “When I was younger,” she continued quietly and brought her focus back to his hand, “my mom used to sing me to sleep. She wasn’t the best singer though,” Jez grinned, “but it was still pretty soothing.” She finished putting the Band-Aid on and brought his hand up to her mouth, kissing the spot over the Band-Aid quickly and patting it with her other hand. “All better,” she cooed and moved to put the first aid kit away.

Sighing, she leaned back onto the counter next to him. “After the accident,” she said after a while of comfortable silence, “my aunt could never get me to sleep. She told me that she refused to sing, though, so she used to take me out to the back yard. She’d set up chairs and bring blankets and we’d just lie down and look up at the stars. She would tell me stories about the constellations, about people from faraway lands…” Jez looked up at Harry, who was looking down at her, his eyes filled with concern and his eyebrows pulled down into a frown. “But, I would usually get bored and fall asleep quickly,” Jez finished, smiling up at him.

“Jez, I didn’t…” Harry started to say.

“It’s okay. Really, it is. It was a long time ago, I don’t like talking about it,” Jez said, looking down at her hands.

Harry leaned over and tilted her head up gently, “Hey,” he said quietly, meeting her eyes, “she would be proud of you.”

“Funny you should say that,” Jez said and smirked playfully, but Harry could still see the faint shadow of pain in her eyes, “my aunt says that to me all the time.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “That’s because it’s true.”

Jez pushed herself away from the counter and started walking back to her bunk, “Well, goodnight Harry,” she said, cutting off the conversation.

“Night,” Harry called after her quietly as she walked away.

That night, Jez couldn’t help the few tears that rolled down her cheeks as she thought of her parents, but she let herself be comforted by the few words that Harry had spoken to her that night as she fell asleep.