Clouds

Part 2-23 Chaos

            Chapter 23

            The feelings explode as I take the next step.  I feel it in my stomach: this is the end.  My eyes widen as I see Robert and Sam, the two guards Jason had to face, and three others, completely surrounding us.  Jason lets go of my hand.

            “Stop right there,” one of the guards says.  They all have guns pointed at us.  “We know who you are.”

            “Jason Lynch and Emedee Harless,” Sam says.  “Emedee Harless is wanted for treason against the Queen while Jason Lynch is wanted as an accomplice.  Both charges: exectution.

            Execution.

            The charges ring in my ears and I feel my heartbeat slow.  This really is the end, but not just of my journey: of my life.

            “Now we can make this easy or hard,” Robert says.  “Both of you stay there and no one is hurt.  Make one move and you’ll legs will be blown to pieces.”  Neither of us move.  I feel that sinking feeling in my heart as I realize that there is no escape from this.

            And I never got to tell Jason how I feel, and right when I realized, too!  We were so close to a true sanctuary in the Sanctuary, yet so far, and this is the end…

            “Jason, I-“ Jason doesn’t say a word.  The guards hold their weapons firm and soon I feel the cold metal of a gun against my head.  I feel dizzy.

            I need to tell him, even if they’re my last words.  This is important, and I can’t keep my feelings welled up inside.

            “Jason, I love you.”

            Jason turns and looks at me.  My hands are forced behind my back in handcuffs.

            “Thank you, Jason,” I cry, “for everything!” Tears stream down my face.  My stomach hurls with sadness and I begin to bawl.  I cry for my family.  I cry for my friends.  I cry for everyone I’ve ever come in contact with.  I cry for Colby and Awesome’s parents, and I cry for Misty and the rest of the organization.  I had let them down.

            This is all my fault!  If only I had a sense of direction, if only I knew my way to the Hedges so I could use a compass!  I’m so stupid!  Stupid, stupid, stupid!  I’ve gotten an innocent boy killed, when all he did was rescue me when I was weak.  I’m just a girl, what can I do?  I’m just a stupid girl, mistaken for a strong person.  Sure, I am at the top of all age groups in the Sanctuary, and I am smarter than the average eighty year old, but I am still weak, deep down.  I procrastinated when I should already be in the Hedges.  I gave guards time to see me.  This is all my fault, and they may soon discover my parents and Misty and Colby’s parents and Colby and Awesome and-“

            The guards begin to lead us away.  I look back at Jason, one more time.  His eyes are still wide, in shock.  This was not the reaction I wanted.

            And then, he doesn’t love me back.

            But it was worth it, wasn’t it?  I almost had a chance to live with someone instead of without anyone.  I could have gone to the Coastline with Jason, and we could have traveled to Rainbow Valley together and found Cloud, by each other’s side.  I guess it’s impossible to love a girl like me, though, but we could have each found someone to spend the rest of our lives with in the Valley, if it’s true that people still live there…