OLD Campus Love (sequel) Malexmale

18

Author Note: You may be confused. Roll with it. Also, Dani's point of view for the first time!!

**

*Casper*

I was leaving.

I had to; I couldn't stay here. It'd be too painful for the both of us.

I walked into the closet, numbly taking my clothes off the rack and tossing them into a suitcase with the hangers. I expelled a heavy sigh, tasting my own salty tears.

I'd promised myself that I would stand by my love no matter what, but for his sake, I couldn't stay here. I couldn't let him look at me everyday; I couldn't let my face haunt him. He would only feel guilt upon the mere sight of me.

"Casper?" I heard his voice call out. I shut my eyes at the beautiful sound, quickly wiping my tears and turning around. "Cas?"

"I'm in the closet, David," I announced with a wavering voice. He approached me, deep worry etched in his face. In seconds, he took in our surroundings: the tears stained on my cheeks, the clothes falling out of one of my suitcases, my defeated posture.

"No," he breathed, shaking his head. "You're not... please tell me you aren't..."

I dropped my gaze to the floor. "I just wanted to make the decision less complicated for you. That way, you wouldn't put so much s-stress on yourself."

"This is your home, Casper." His voice was heartbreaking as he moved closer to me, and all the strength I had mustered crumbled completely.

"I'll stay with Lucas for a couple days a-and... I'll figure something out."

"I'm gonna be worried sick about you. Don't walk out, please stay here."

"I don't want to leave, David! I said that I'll fight for our love and push through every single obstacle thrown our way-"

"Then stay," he pleaded, reaching for my hand. His fear matched mine; we were scared of separation. Why wouldn't we be? Ever since we fell for each other, every moment we spent apart was difficult.

"You don't understand. We made promises to each other because we didn't know your son was out there. I thought I could compete with Rowan, despite your assurance that I'm the only one for you. But I cannot and will not compete with a helpless and innocent eight year old boy who was taken from his unfit mother last year and placed in foster care. He was meant to be your child and you've wanted to be a father for so long. I won't stand in the way of that."

He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead. "I can't be without you. I need you, you know that."

"Your son needs you," I whispered, feeling my eyes brim with tears. "The foster system sucks and Rowan's planning to adopt Alex with or without you." I shrugged, utterly drained of all hope. "And just like that, I'm out of the picture. I won't make you choose between me and the boy who was always meant to be your child. Because if you choose me, you'll resent me. You'll be adding a lot more questions to the already long list of what ifs."

"And if I don't choose you? I'm not prepared to even think about spending my life without you. I love you, Casper, please don't walk away from me. Please." He clutched my hand to his chest and I stood there in silence, trying to hold my tears at bay but failing spectacularly.

David lifted his hands to wipe them away carefully and I fell into the safety of his arms, all my emotions getting the best of me. I let it all out right there, sobbing and holding him as tightly as I possibly could. He cradled my head to his chest and settled a comforting hand on my back.

"I feel so lost," I confessed.

"I'm going to figure this out."

"There's nothing to figure out, David. I wasn't trying to leave you; I just... I couldn't let you pick me over your son."