You Deserve

16

August

"About what?" She groaned.

"Ya wanna tell me why ya ain't been takin ya meds?"

"I have been taking my meds what are you talking about?" She shot back.

"Not dem meds."

She looked at me with no emotion whatsoever. I know I caught her by surprise but she bet not be mad at me, hell if anything I should be the one mad. Don't ya think that's some shit ya tell the muthafucka ya datin?

"I don't need them, now drop it."

"I ain't droppin shit, why I gotta keep findin shit out from Yanna man. I'm ya boyfriend so ya say and ya ain't tellin me shit."

She sighed and got off of me sitting up against the headboard. I laid my head in ha lap as she played in my curls.

"Where do you want me to start."

"Ya moms baby."

"I always wondered about my dad but she never said anything about him so I was scared to ask. When I was about 5 I finally did, she just got mad and told me to never speak of him again and I didn't. It wasn't until I was like 13 when I started resenting her for not telling me, that's when things just went downhill for us. One day I asked her and she just flipped, screaming and cursing and hitting me, but for what? All I wanted was to know a little about my pops ya know? She didn't understand that. From then on we never really spoke much, until one day she introduced me to some guy she met. Something was off about him from the moment I met him. I saw right through the bitch. Early in the relationship he showed his true colors, he began beating on my mom. Whenever I tried to defend her he'd hit me too. I think the only time he ever stopped putting his hands on her was when she was pregnant with my sister, but a few months after she was born he went back to his old ways. I told my nana what was going on and she took my sister in, I stayed because even though I couldn't stand her she was my mom. I couldn't leave her. One day I was home with the guy and he came in my room drunk and started grabbing me and kissing on me. I hit him and it's like he blacked out, he beat me until I stopped trying to fight back, before he could rape me my mom came home. She saw me and was mad at him for a few days but was convinced that he was just drunk and I should forgive him. I left and never came back."

I felt somethin hit my face and looked up to see tears falling from her face.

"Baby-"

"I don't know why I did it. I was mad and hurt and I just wasn't thinking. I took pills. When I left I went to Yanna's house that night. I waited until everyone was gone and just let myself go. Her mom came back early and found me. When they admitted me to the hospital they put me on medications and all that shit. When I met Titus, he knew about everything, my mom, the abuse, everything. He convinced me to stop taking them. He said he would take away all the pain I've ever felt and he did until he started hitting me. The first couple times I brushed it off, I figured he was just mad. Until one time he got unusually mad and beat the hell out of me. When he was done he left. I felt useless, like I didn't mean shit to anybody. Everyone that I've ever loved either left or hurt me and I felt unwanted so I tried again. Yanna came, made me puke it up. The next day I went to the doctors and got put back on them and I've been on them ever since."

She stopped and looked at me trying to find the right words to say next.

"I stopped taking them because of you. You make me feel different babe. I don't know what it is but in the short time span that I've known you, I don't feel empty and broken. It scares me that I feel this strong but it's like I wanna take that chance, I can't live in fear of what somebody else did."

I sat up and held her in my arms.

"When Mel died a piece of me died wit him. He wasn't just a brother he was like my pops. Teachin me how to survive outchea, nigga taught me how to be a self made nigga. I had so many plans fa me and him and they just took him. Even though I got them girls it's like somethin still missin. Well was missin. I had a dream about Mel the same night I met ya. He told me don't pass this shit up. Of course I ain't know what that shit meant but when I thought on it he was talkin bout ya. I ain't neva had no shit like that happen before that's how I know ya sum special. Whatever I gotta do imma make sure ya happy baby, I ain't like that otha nigga, I ain't the sick bitch that tried to rape ya, and I ain't ya moms. On God I promise to try my absolute best to never hurt ya in any way, shape, or form. I ain't finna lose ya over no shit baby."

"I'm not gonna say I love you baby, it's too early so I guess it's I like you." She replied laughin.

"I like you more baby."

She giggled as I pecked her lips over and over.

"Boy stop playing and kiss me."

"Mmm so ya demandin shit na." I mumbled against her lips pecking them once more.

She grabbed the back of my neck and started tonguin a nigga down. I laid her back and got on top of her kissing on her neck. She moaned and wrapped her legs around my waist as I started sucking harder on her neck. I ran my hand up her stomach cupping one of her breasts caressing it as my lips crashed into hers. I stopped for a quick second to remove her shirt admiring her perfect body. I leaned down and ran my tongue over her already hardened nipple as I lightly squeezed on the other. I brought my lips back to hers and stuck a finger down her panties. I ran it across her lips smiling at how wet she was.

"Wait baby, It's too-"

"I know baby, just let me make ya feel good."

She gave me an unsure look but I reassured her by kissing her once more this time nice and slow. I started rubbing one her clit as she tried to suppress her moans. I inserted a finger and began suckin on her neck as she squirmed under me. I was surprised at how tight she was. I slipped in another finger, slowly pumping in and out if her.

"Shit." She whispered biting her lip.

I took that as my cue to go faster, so I did.

"Fuck, August!" She moaned arching her back and grabbing her hair.

I went deeper and harder as her body began to shutter. My fingers continuously pounded into her as her muscles clenched around them releasing her sweet nectar. I removed my fingers letting her taste herself. I kissed her lips so I could have a taste as well, she tasted good as hell and I wouldn't mind going down on her one day.

"Why ya lookin at me like dat."

She was just staring at me with an unreadable expression.

"Baby stop bein a creep." I said laughin.

"I'm not I'm just, I don't know."

"Amazed, wait till ya get this dick." I said smirking.

"Good freaking night August!"

She turned over as I wrapped my arms around her bare body instantly falling asleep.