Hiraeth jjk+k.th

III

Taehyung did acknowledge that he missed Jungkook's blog updates. Yet he never admitted that it had affected him this intensely. Maybe it was just that he missed Seoul's buzzing streets..

Nevertheless, it was all about 'him'. Totally anonymous, yet totally dear to him.

He was not exactly lying to Hobi hyung. In fact, he to him, was home.
Which Taehyung never realised.

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https://www.blogposts.com/.aestheticsjk/ 1/21/09/2013

21st September 2013,

Have you ever wondered what's better than dying?
Being a coniferous tree. You'd probably be cackling but yeah. The thing is that you can let out your tears via transpiration and still look beautiful (i.e not like a dying whale). You will always be of the same shade of a beautiful alluring sap green, always standing tall and mighty, reaching for the sky, no matter what the season.

You will live beautifully.You can live with self-respect and not feel lonely.

You can shed so many leaves, yet grow them back. You can rejuvenate.

You can be everything you aren't when you are a coniferous tree. At least that's what I think. You can be normal throughout the year and not have all these mental breakdowns.

Anyways, do you like watching the fog settle upon the hills?Right now, in XYZ land (I'm sorry I'm such a chicken, I really do trust you, its just I'm pretty sure you'll kill me for writing such a stupid blog), the air is totally misty and if you were to be here, it will feel as if you are on Cloud 9, literally and figuratively.

To be honest, when I was small, I used to ask my mom to pluck cotton candy from these fog clusters. She used to just ask me to grow tall so that I could touch the skies as she was short. But her eyes rivalled the sun. They were full of hope. At that time I thought it was the hope that I'll grow tall. I'd never know.

It is funny how these little things make our eyes sting so much.

-Jungkook.

The chair creaked as the fascinated reader got up, his eyes never leaving the monitor's screen. His hands itched to just grab his canvas board to just potray the beauty of it in his own perspective.

"Taehyung-ah! Come down for dinner!"

"I'm not hungry mom, just keep some food aside for me in a Tupperware."

Well, he didn't really lie...it is not everyday that you find passion. The urge to paint had taken over his senses as he left his homework unfinished, but then again, it wouldn't hurt to let his emotions take over him for just few hours..

'It is 2am and this boy has locked himself up in his room' His mother mumbles as she switches off the kitchen lights.

"Tae baby, it's late, you should go to sleep" his mom half yelled while climbing the stairs to his room.
Well it turns out she was wrong. The door swung open only to reveal Taehyung in the dimly lighted room, snoring beside a beautiful unfinished artwork that he was painting all this time.
"The fog looks so realistic…".

"Oye!"

"Ah sorry. I kinda just zoned out a bit", I muttered embarrassed.

"You seem disturbed nowadays…Anyways, the Harper Lee books have to be restocked. Remember? 2nd floor, G2?", Seokjin hyung instructed,  frantically searching for something.

"Here", I handed over the bunch of keys which were behind the monitor.

"Hehe thanks!",he showed his signature grin.

"Clumsy hyung. Tch tch", I rolled my eyes earning a smack from him.

"Oye!"

I chuckled and headed towards the stairs, humming Boyfriend's Janus, which had been caught up on my mind for a few days.

As soon as I started stacking the books, I started sneezing. Argh.
This was the only reason I hated working in a bookstore. Or a library. This place gets damn dusty in like every 10 seconds. As usual, I dusted the the shelves before I could keep stacking any further. Though it was not part of my job, I liked doing odd chores here. Simply because, I loved being appreciated. Especially by Jin hyung. Not that all these appreciations and flattery warmed my heart. It just felt a teeny little better knowing that someone's heart leaps.
What other work do I have anyways?

"Excuse me?"I felt a soft tap on my shoulder.
I turned around and spotted a young guy, twenty-ish, who was kinda short, but nevertheless, looked like he had leaped from a fairytale.

"How can I help you?", I asked, taking in his princely appearance.

"Have you restocked 'To kill a Mockingbird' ? Its just that I've been looking around in every bookshop in this locality and Jin hyung said it will be restocked by today…"
"Oh…I was just going to restock it now.I'll give it to you in a second, please wa-"
"I'll help you", He blurted, his hands reaching for the pile of identical books.
Little did he realize that the top rack was too high for him and he pouted with a pfft.
I lightheartedly chuckled and in a matter of few seconds, the books were arranged neatly, the hardcover bearing the signature golden logo of the publisher and the book name written in the bookman old style font.

"So uhm, thanks! What's your name?"
"Taehyung. And yeah, welcome" I felt embarrassed, because it felt like I was one of those kids in kindergarten who had to come up and spell out my name to the entire class. It felt strange hearing how my name sounded , rolling from my tongue.

I didn't fully comprehend what princely boy had muttered and we both parted ways.

Why, my heart are you so traitorous?
Aren't I your sole instructor?
Why do you beat so fast when you are not supposed to?
Stop leaping around. It's annoying.
And why are you so cold even during days of sunshine?
Listen , my heart, tame yourself. Because if you keep doing this to me, I will have to forsake you.
Don't. Do. This.
Because I'm too close to the point where I'll give up fighting.