discontinued. The Way We Live Now ⇔ Mileven {3rd - "Wake Up, Mike" Trilogy}

Eight

Mike.
Italics = a Memory
(The memory in this chapter actually happened in TGWP and I like this concept so much omg)

"You really scared me, y'know." I mumbled as we walked down the street. I could feel her presence next to me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I know this is my fault, and looking at her is like giving in. Admitting to my mistakes, which I'm just not ready to do yet.

The familiar sound of her combat boots clunking against the asphalt was so comforting in this moment. Feeling her aura, no matter how sad it was, it made me feel better.

"I know. You upset me, everyone did. I wanted to be alone for a few days." She spoke quietly, she was obviously afraid that I'm mad. I'm not, I understand why she left. And I know she didn't mean to break all of our windows and lamps, so I can't be mad about that either. I'm mad at myself.

"It's ok, Max. I know it was my fault, I don't blame you." I breathed out my words, sighing deeply afterwards, which caused her to look over at me in confusion. "I messed stuff up between us, I know that. I just can't talk about it, not yet. I'll talk to you when I'm ready, Max. Until then, please try to understand that I'm struggling with it just as much as you are."

She looked saddened by my words, but she nodded anyway. I'm glad, because I need her to understand. I need her on board, I need time. I can't do this without her, I need my sister by my side.

The rest of the walk was somewhat peaceful. I wanted to bring up so many things but I just couldn't find the right topic. I started to talk about school but she shook her head. I then tried Dustin, which she also shook her head to. So I tried something else.

"I think I messed stuff up with El today." I stated simply, making Max look over at me with wide eyes. I nodded, my expression most likely holding shame. "I got mad, I left her. She's probably at my house right now, just waiting for me to come home. And I know El; she'll try to tell me things are ok, until I assure her they aren't. Then she'll go quiet and hold in everything, which will make me mad. Next, she'll get mad and tell me exactly how she feels, which will only make me more mad. It's a vicious cycle."

"Then don't get mad. She has every right to get mad, you don't. Show her that you're sorry and maybe things will be ok." Max spoke up immediately, barely giving me time to finish my sentence. I nodded straight away, already drilling it into my head that I should listen to Max. I should let El talk and tell her that it's my fault and that I'm sorry. It's the only way to fix things.

Once again, the walk went silent. Everything is silent lately, I feel like my entire life is silent. Max was yelling, shattering windows, creating a shockwave that spread throughout the entire house. But it felt silent. Whenever I get sad, or whenever something goes wrong; I feel hollow. Silent.

"Mike? We're home." And that's one of the only voices that can break my silence.

I looked up at the house, seeing all the tarps we had placed over the windows. Max saw, too, and when I glanced back over at her, her face had fallen completely. Her eyes were hazy, the blue color suddenly looking gray. I sighed, nudging her lightly before beginning the walk up the driveway. I then glanced over at the grass, feeling Max's presence next to mine, and a specific memory flooded back to me.

I looked up at the sky as thick snow fell, covering my clothes and stinging my face. I could already feel my hair getting wet, but I didn't care.

The snow isn't as cold as most people think, it actually feels quite nice to lay in. Especially when you just threw up all of your breakfast and feel like you could again. I won't, there's nothing in my stomach to throw up. There won't be for a long, long time. Hopefully.