discontinued. The Way We Live Now ⇔ Mileven {3rd - "Wake Up, Mike" Trilogy}

Eleven

Mike.

"I know how bad it is, Max! Lots of things in my life are bad, so I don't need the lecture," I replied a bit too loudly, considering we're only in the basement, but Max didn't even flinch. She glared at me after hearing my statement, but I didn't falter. I meant what I said.

"This isn't about me. It's about you and your confused feelings."

"My confused feelings? Max, you do realize how confused you are, right? We're both confused, so stop acting like I'm a terrible person!" I'm still shouting, now even louder than I was before. But neither of us cared anymore. Max got angrier and angrier as the seconds passed, which was obvious by her expression.

"You need to tell El," she said simply, "she doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"You think I don't know that? And it's a lot easier said than done, Max. Are you gonna march right up to Dustin and tell him about last year?" My tone is icy, and I almost expected her to shrink back how El would, but she only turned more red. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

"You are such a dick, Mike!"

"And you're a bitch, so I guess we match!"

I hadn't realized how loud we were yelling, or how aggressive we must've sounded, until the basement door opened hastily. I half expected to see my mom, her face red with simultaneous anger and shock. But it wasn't my mom, it was Nancy, who I almost forgot was even home.

"Guys, what the hell is going on? You two have been siblings for five years and I've never seen you this tense. Or this mad at each other. Whatever your issue is," Max and I stared at her as she paused, and I saw her send a knowing glance between us, almost as if she knows what we're fighting about, "get it under control. You only have a few months until you're separated again." She was talking in a mom voice, even if she's most certainly not a mom and only like four years older than me.

Max and I glanced at each other, and her cheeks were still bright red. Her eyes blazed when they met mine, but I couldn't determine what kind of blaze it was. The uncertainty of that had me momentarily frozen, staring at her with intense concentration. Eventually, she looked away, looking more towards the ground than towards Nancy.

"We'll work it out, ok? I'm sorry we got so loud," Max apologized simply, still not meeting Nancy's gaze. But Nancy nodded firmly, then looked at me with her own set of fiery eyes, except I could read this message. It was a warning, or a threat, or something of the same sort. She was demanding I cut Max some slack, even if the thought annoyed me. I'm not hounding her about how she treats Dustin, am I?

Nancy left, and Max turned back to me immediately. She looked at me, her eyes now back to their normal blue color, except I saw nothing. Her eyes held no emotion, they may as well have been a brick wall.

"Tell El," she stated simply, and my mouth dropped open. We just got lectured by Nancy, and she's still hung up on whether I tell El or not? I felt all of my anger rise back up to the surface in a wave. I didn't have time to process my words, I didn't have time to do anything. My anger was an entity in itself.

"Would you shut up about Eleven?" I practically screamed, which was apparently an insane enough thing to make even Max shrink back. She took a surprised step away from me, her eyes widening.

Somewhere along the years, it became an unspoken rule that we never call El "Eleven." We call her El or Eleanor, and that's it. El genuinely hates her lab name, and it's heavily linked to hatred and hostility. So me yelling her lab name, in Max's eyes, is basically an alternative to hitting El. Or breaking up with her. Or just hurting her. Of course, I know that I'd never hurt her. I don't want to break up with her, but I am slightly mad at her. I usually am these days, because I'm mad at everyone. And I'm mad at myself for being mad at my girlfriend, therefore I take it out on her in mild ways. I don't mean to, I just can't help it.

"Mike, I know you're under a lot of stress, but this is El. Your El," Max broke through my thoughts, then continued before I could say anything. "And I know she's different, I know she's tough and independent and powerful. But the one time she isn't any of those things, is when something is wrong between you two. If she finds out you have a little crush on Will, and you never told her, that will quite literally break her. And I know you don't know how to put that puzzle back together, so I suggest you get out your glue right now and keep your relationship intact. You'd be a fool not to."

~*~*~

"What is it, Mike? I have homework."

"El, can we talk? I have something important to tell you," I swayed lightly in front of her small house, my nerves causing me to fidget and demand constant movement. El stared at me for a second before opening the door wider and allowing me in. She didn't say a word, she just closed the door in a single slam and then headed for her room. This is so different from everything I've experienced, it was hard to process. Even over the years when we'd have fights or disagreements, she wouldn't treat me badly. Maybe she's just getting annoyed, considering there's so much intensity lately.

I hurried down the hall and through her open doorway, quickly taking in her bedroom, which was full of books and papers. She was already sat back down on her bed, hunched over her binder and English textbook.

"Um, is Will home?" I asked, just wanting to know if he's at any risk of hearing our conversation. But the look I got in return sent a chill down my spine, for more reasons than one. She glared at me for a moment, not moving an inch, until she suddenly slammed her binder shut and stood up.

"No, he's not. Did you come to see him?" she spoke a lot louder than I anticipated, sending a jolt of shock from my chest to my stomach. I stuttered a bit, unable to say anything, but started shaking my head quickly. "What's going on, Mike? I know you're hiding something from me, and I know it's about Will. What is it? Are you guys..." she trailed off, her eyes slowly sinking to the floor. I kept shaking my head.

"No, El, no. Please let me explain,"

"You've always acted weird about him. I thought maybe you were just protective, considering what happened back when we first met, but this is different. It's like...in the time I was in that cell, something happened. Because once I was back, I-" she paused, clearing her throat lightly, then speaking again with a strained voice "-I wasn't the only person you saw anymore."

"El, that's not true," I tried to deny it, but she just shook her head and spoke up before I could continue.

"No, I think it is. Do you like him, Mike? Or even...love? I don't know anymore." She reached up to run her hands through her hair, her stress tangible in the air. The guilt I felt was too intense to even fully comprehend.

"I don't love him," is all I said, which obviously wasn't the best thing to say, but I didn't attempt to say anything else. She just stared at me, her eyes the only thing that moved. They switched from sad, to angry, to just plain empty.

"If you like him, I understand. I understand and I don't hate you for it," she spoke calmly, which surprised me. But then she continued with more of an answer that I was expecting. "But you didn't tell me. For five years, you kept it from me. You constantly told me that I was your one and only, that I had your heart, that you were mine. And I deserve better than lies and secrets,"

"El, please don't break up with me. I know it was wrong. I came to tell you today because I felt so guilty," I tried, but she cut in again.

"You came today because Max told you to," she said it so calmly and simply, it almost hurt more than yelling. It especially hurt because she was right. "I'm not breaking up with you, Mike. I know you love me and I know you meant well by not telling me. But I need space for a while. Until the wedding. I need to focus on more important things, like school and work and wedding preparations. I'm sorry, but please leave, and don't call."

So I did.