I returned to the lab just in time to hear the noise of a pop and a shatter, followed quickly by a yell, a noise which caused my casual walking pace to turn into a sprint. I skidded into the lab to find the ensign flapping their hands around maddly and swearing loudly.
"Ah, shit, ah. Wrong fucking nitrous fucking compound. Ah!"
"You need to dilute the solution on your hand quickly." I huffed, calmly, ushering him to the emergency shower. "It's just on you hands, yes?"
"Yeah, I, uh- Ow! That's fucking hot!" He yelled at me, pulling his hands back and I quickly turned down the heat. I still wasn't used to cohabiting with humans.
"Ah, my mistake. Apologies."
"How are you so calm?! I bet you I'm going to loose my hands!"
"You're not going to loose them, there'll be some interesting burn patterns for doctor McCoy to deal with at most. Anyway, it'd be far too illogical to get flustered in a time of stress."
"Keep your hands under the water." I said with a wave of my hands as I yanked a pair of thick gloves on my hands -something the ensign should have heeded in the first instance- and brushed the shattered glass into a trash bin. "Acid or alkali?"
"What?"
"I can be bothered trying to figure out all the chemicals you dumped in that solution but I'd like to know how to neutralise it. Acid or Alkali?"
"Uh, alkali I think."
"Hmmm." I murmured as I busted about, trying to find vinegar to pour on a rag and wrap round the ensigns hands as I walked him to the med bay. Whatever alkali was left in the wound after irrigation needed neutralised, obviously, but the best plan of approach was absolutely not dumping a beaker of acid on to an already open burn. "Probably doesn't fill me with the confidence I'd like when I'm about to employ an acid to try and neutralise the situation. I could be making it worse if you're not sure."
"If it stops the burning pour fucking anything on it." I huffed with a roll of my eyes at the drama they were playing at that point.
"Right come on, let's get you to the med bay so you can have proper medical treatment." The ensign just squeaked.
"T'aitlu!" Doctor McCoy called as we walked in, jumping back from some work on his pad.
"We've had a little accident, haven't we?" I said, reading an eyebrow and ushering the ensign forward. "Somebody didn't listen to my lecture this morning on the reactivity of nitrous compounds and caused a negative reaction... All over their hands."
"Ah, you gotta listen to the Vulcans kid. As much as they can be sanctimonious bastards and all, they're usually right."
"I'll try not to be offended."
"Please don't." He said with a grin as he began to unwrap the bandages I'd quickly looped round the ensigns hands. "I'm trying so hard to make a good impression on you."
"Were the wounds properly irrigated?" He questioned, clearly jumping into doctor mode and I raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in manner.
"Irrigated and neutralised to the best of my ability, although there may be glass shards in the wounds that I didn't tend too."
"You're lucky you've got such a responsible pal, kid. This could be a lot worse." Bones said grinning at the ensign, trying to make him feel more at ease.
"I've got a name you know." He responded petulantly, sticking out his bottom lip as he sat on the neat white cot the doctor had ushered him onto.
"I'm gonna stick with kid I think. Easier for me, ya know?"
"Do you even know my name?" He said in accusatory tone, turning to me now that the doctor had wandered off to find his required kit.
"Something human, I assume. David? Mohammed? Something along those lines?"
"Wow stereotype much? Not all humans are called David or Mohamed!"
"It was merely a guess based in probability. They're common names so the chances of you being a David or a Mohamed were higher than some obscure name or another. Don't take it personally it's just logic."
"How would you feel if I said you looked like a Spock just because you were Vulcan?"
"A bit worried about your cognitive functioning skills considering that is rather clearly a male name." I said with an eye roll. "Unless this is what masculine looks like in your corner of earth?"
"Stop applying genders to everything, God."
"Stop talking."
"This won't hurt at all." The doctor said with a reassuring smile while I stood back, crossing my arms and watching intrigued at the way he worked. Then there was the much quieter "Probably." I'm not sure the ensign picked up.
"Ow! What the fuck that definitely hurt."
"He did say 'probably'"
"He did not!" The ensign protested cradling their hand as the doctor sprayed it with... Something. As someone who's main purpose aboard the ship was to develop new medicines I should probably know the existing ones, you would think.
"I did, kid." The doctor said slapping him on the back. "You've always gotta' watch your words around a Vulcan cause they hear everything." I nodded in confirmation at that statement. "Anyway, you're good as new... Mostly. The scarring will fade over time but at the moment you've got the interesting story of how a dashing lady saved the day with quick thinking."
"Not quick thinking so much as logic."
"Ahhh." He laughed with a grin. "You'd have thought the first thing I thought of was logic."
"Thank you for all your assistance doctor but I now have a lab to go asses before I let loose maintenance staff on it."
"Afraid they'll steal your mad science experiments?" He said with a smirk, leaning back against a bed.
"I doubt there's anything remotely interesting, I was more concerned with more accidental burns."
"Hey, it'd give you an excuse to see me again, wouldn't it?"
"Perhaps we should find something that doesn't involve bodily harm to ensigns in the future." I concluded before turning on my heel and marching out, the ensign on my trial. "What do humans bond over, caffeinated beverages?"
YOU ARE READING
It's only chemical || Leonard McCoy fanfiction
Fanfiction"Love is only chemical." He shrugged, looking at the couple and then back to me. His blue eyes, the blue of a human sky, of the colour of the shirt he was wearing, seemed to be able to read me like a book, or like the telepath I was supposed to be...
