Jokes And Rants From Middle Schoolers

I'm not.....

I'm not an alcoholic, the bar is just where I sleep at night.

I'm not an addict, I just like the way coke smells.

im not clumsy, the floor just needs a hug once in a while

im not a strangler, I just

like hugging people... with my

  hands... around the neck.

I'm not a thief, stuff just wants to leave with me.

I'm not needy, I just like attention

I'm not a diva, I just want what I want, when I want it.

I'm not smoking a cigarette, this puff of some just follows me around.

I'm not a stalker,  I just like following people.... 24/7.

I'm not high, oh look a unicorn!!!!!!

I'm not insane, I just took a vacation.... at the mental hospital.

I'm not stupid, my brain just doesn't hold that much information.

I'm not childish, I'm just not mature.

I'm not a criminal, I just like the way cells look.

I'm not gay , I just like men.

I'm not ugly , I just shatter mirrors.... with my face.