The First Catch

Chapter 26: Denial

Melanie had quickly rushed out of the room and down the hall to open the door so she could leave.  But before she opened the door, she stopped just as her hand reached the doorknob.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  She had put on that act for the doctor just in case Victoria tried to be snoopy and called him to ask.  Now she had to remind herself to get calmed down so Victoria wouldn't suspect.  Perhaps hearing the news again, also made her feel a bit giddy.  But she couldn't let Victoria figure out anything, so she tried to get herself as calmed as she possibly could before going back to meet her friend.  Feeling the doorknob turn in her hand as she felt it being turned from the opposite side, she gasped and jumped back as the door opened, almost running into her as the person from the other side opened it to come through.

The person who had come from the other end was just as surprised to see Melanie there.  "S..  Sorry."  She muttered to the person stepping aside so they could come in.  She didn't notice one of the nurses who had been watching her with worry, approach her and jumped when she felt someone's hand gently grab her arm.  She glanced up seeing the nurse.  The other gal pulled her hand back noticing Melanie's reaction.  "I'm sorry ma'am..  I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."  Melanie quickly pulled her arm away from the nurses grip suddenly feeling annoyed.  "Can people stop asking me that!"  She hissed.  She then quickly slipped out, closing the door behind her to make her way back to the waiting room where Victoria was.  Leaving the nurse standing there stunned.

"Hey."  Victoria glanced up and smiled.  "Did it go okay?"  She asked standing up so they could leave.  Melanie sighed.  "Of course they went okay.  Just as I said it would be.  It is just a regular flu."  Victoria raised her eye not really buying what Melanie was saying, but chose to let it slide for now.  "See?"  She smiled.  "I knew there was nothing to worry about."  Melanie rolled her eyes.  "You're the one who made me make the appointment."  She pointed out as she began to follow Victoria out of the hospital.  She took a few more deep breaths closing her eyes, not realizing she had stopped following Victoria until she felt her place her hand on her shoulder.  "Melanie?  What's going on?"  Melanie opened her eyes and glanced at her friend.  "Nothing.  There is something that I need to do first."

Victoria looked curious but didn't ask.  "Of course.  But are you sure you don't want me to drop you off at the house first?"  Melanie nodded.  "I am sure."  Victoria wasn't quite sure with how Melanie had been feeling, that she should leave her alone.  But she didn't say anything.  "Besides, fresh air will do me some good."  Victoria got into the car.  "Alright.  I will see you when you get back."  Melanie gave her a small smile nodding.  Glad that Victoria didn't seem to be nagging her.  "Alright."  Victoria still seemed hesitant as she got in the car.  Melanie watched as Victoria buckled up, and backed out of the parking lot, then she began to walk along the sidewalk.

This can't be happening, this can't.  I am not ready to have a child.  I can't have a child.  I don't want a child.  She bit her lip.  It was one of the partial reasons she had been straining herself away from Anthony.  Besides the fact that she didn't want to get too close to anyone again.  Paul was supposed to be her one chance she was supposed to start a family with, the one person she wanted to start a family with, and now she couldn't.  Since she couldn't be with Paul, she didn't want to be with anyone else.  She knew she was maybe overreacting.  But she couldn't help it.  Melanie made a small glance around at the scenery as she continued to let the thoughts take over.  It was the second week of August.  But for once it wasn't so hot.  It was eighty two degrees, with a gentle breeze blowing through.  Melanie was about a block away now from the hospital.  And had just approached a neighborhood street filled with some rows of apartments on each side.  She turned down the sidewalk to her left, spotting a small open area of grass on one of the houses lawns, then walked over to slump herself down on the ground, leaning her back against the nearby tree that was in the yard.  Burying her face in her hands.  Letting her thoughts consume her again.  I don't want this child.  She knew it wasn't very kind to think of such a thing.  But she wasn't really in her right mind either.  The old Melanie would never even consider giving up a child under any circumstances.  And of course she knew she couldn't even consider the other option, so she had no choice.  She was going to have to go through with it all, and wait for to be able to give it up for adoption.  She was sure that hearing such things that Victoria and Levi would have a tizzy.  But she obviously wasn't going to be able to hide this from them.  She didn't want a baby.  She didn't want to raise one alone, but she didn't want to have one with Anthony either.  This was the only choice.  With luck she could possibly avoid Anthony for nine months, and with luck she would never have to tell him.  She already knew for certain that he would most likely get her to keep the baby so they could raise it.  She didn't want that.