Silently Drawn

Back to '89

1989,

So, my school, Pinhole Valley high school.

The sexiest school in California, in the wise
words of J.A.R (Voted most likely to get a hangover on the day of his funeral) --anyway, he's not kidding! Most schools are known for shit like 'best football team' or 'most alacrity-ish cheerleading squad'. Some have a dump truck load of smarts. Even the band dorks have a reputation in some schools (side note: Don't tell anyone but the marching bands can get my heart really pumpin'!)

Our school?

Eh.

Just the most likely to snort cocaine, get a blowjob, and a threesome in one single stall.

True story.

I was there and I lived to tell the tale.

Can ya guess which one I was?

Trick question.

I'm the kid getting a high-five in the face with toilet water by a dude who smelled suspiciously like shit. Lemme just say its a real treat after gym though. Gets all the 'my brother ate my deodorant and he's 5 years older than me and mom forgot to buy me a new one' stench to fuck off.

I'm not really a nerd or whatever. Or a jock [though I used to be on the football team] I'm more like a joke really.

The most invisible kid in pinhole.

Only visible to the name, "two dollar bill".

"Sup, two dolla"

"How's the gothic goat thing goin' two dollar bill?"

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIIIST TWO DOLLAR!!! YOU FUCKING ASS!!! THE DOORS LOCKED FOR A REASON! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN FIT UNDER THE STALL?"

"Dunno...'been told plenty of times that being small would come in handy. Didn't believe 'em until now."

"Did you happen to see....me?"

"YEP, and your even smaller then me! FUCK! What a nice confidence booster. Love ya! Wait..." I shifted uncomfortably. "Needa piss first"

I was dubbed the title, "two dollar bill" for selling cheap weed for 2 bucks. But everyone started making up shit that I would do some sort of satanic blood sacrificial goat thing for two dollars.

Nope, just pot I guess.

Why is it called pot anyway?

Then again LSD's also called speed...

BUT THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT!
It makes me speedy as heck.

One time, I was on it so bad in class that everyone thought I was just petty and in need of attention.

When in reality, I sincerely thought I was Godzilla.

I ended up pouring 409 in my French teacher's coffee and dipping my deodorant in it and sprinkling bits of it in the coffee the same day as the Godzilla incident.

I ended up being rudely snatched by the old Math teacher next door because some lousy teachers-whore (excuse me for not using teachers-pet, but I feel like thats a bit too kind) ratted me out for "poisoning" the teacher. Ok, maybe not "poisoning" more like poisoning. But it's cool anyway 'cause he keeps hitting on and having affairs with the female homoerectus's. And on top of that; he's an unattractive 42 year old man.