Silently Drawn

Jason Andrew Relva

No one's Gonna see this~

"Billie, hello? Is this the right number?" A melancholy voice rang through the halls from the answering machine. Then a beep signalized that someone hung up.

But I was too busy fucking around with my shoe to notice the outside world existed.

I grunted and threw my chucks at the wall in frustration.

"Damn..." I pouted.

An ear piercing static noise innocently amplified from behind me.

"What? Is the radio still on?" I say to myself...I check the radio in my room, obviously i have bad sense of direction.

I scrambled up and pushed my shitty sneakers off and headed to the answering machine, but slipped and hit my head, making me bite my tongue.

this is why i fuckin hate socks.

i growl at the hardwood floor and rolled over onto my back and screamed into my hands. I could taste the blood.

My Step-ass peaked out of his bedroom and scoffed, closing the door soon after he discovered my pitiful state.

I army crawled like I've been shot in the leg to my living room.

I pull myself over a corner that led left into the kitchen. There I saw Anna, my older sister on a call, flirting with her boyfriend.

"Then, after returning from the wreckage, I spot my lover, Anna, with another man."

Anna grunted and looked at me like i was a dust bunny on the floor.

"I come back from a war and you already have another husband gambling off my donor organs? Sign my cast at least." Billie fake wailed, then swatted at Anna's feet.

"Get out of the way, Anne, IM TRYING TO SAVE MY DAMN LIFE."

"Since when have you got into acting?" Anna then blocks my path.

"As soon I popped out of mom and said; 'Hey! it's a beautiful day for a god to be born.' And then I see you and to this day, still say 'I love you.'"

"Harsh. Anyway, you're not getting the phone. Brice needs me."

I got up and stare at the answering machine for a bit, then grabbed Anna and threw her into the living room.

"What the hell?!" Anna screamed before I closed the doors and locked them.

"Sorry, it might be my drug dealer plug on the machine. You wouldn't understand." I stroke the door in fake apology.

I quickly grab the phone and put it to my ear.
I was about to press the answering button but i was interrupted by Brice's screams.

"WHAT'S GOIN' ON??? ANNA?? This is givin' me a goddamn headache..."

"Take two aspirin and call me in the morning."
I made a kissy sound and hung up.

my finger presses the answering machine.

Beep!

Shit, wow, that's loud!

"Oh shit... it's recording isn't it? I'm in a bit of a shithile, I can't sleep, I feel uneasy, n' uncomfortable and...fuck...I dunno..." Jason's voice laughed softly.

Oh, no! Jason Andrew in a disaster? I'm shaking in my sex pistols shirt...

"I feel like— I just don't think I can talk to Mike about this...he'll probably call my mom again."

I heard another beep and I froze.

"Billie, please talk to me...About anything!! I don't care! How...how was your day, did you get any bad grades today, did you write a new song?"

I tilted my head in amusement.

Third beep.

I expected to hear a voice but all I heard was the sound of a car starting.

Who the fuck has a phone in their car?
Oh, yeah. Jason. He's a rich little shit. I forgot.

The car was moving, and it sounded like it was moving fast.

There were soft whispers that i couldn't make out. But it freaked me the fuck out.

"You're right, Billie." I heard a stiffled cry and a crash.

I jumped.

"Jason?!" I screamed, covering my face. "This is a FUCKING joke!"

"BILLIE, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" There was a jiggle of a doorknob, Anna had finally got the door open. She probably found mom's extra lock.

But I wasn't paying attention.

"What the hell are you listening to?"

The sound of water bubbled through the speaker of the phone before it cut off.

And that was the end of J.A.R...

it wasn't until the late 90's when Mike opened up about what happened to Jason...personally I used to think he couldn't write until he handed that song to me—when he said,
"Billie I want to show you a song I wrote when we were kids, I want you to sing it."

Nostalgia was the tastiest poison, I thought as he handed me a piece of paper, all creased over.

"What the hell is this anyway?" I gawked at the beauty of the words on the paper.

"A song...why? It's bad?" Mike itched his elbow.

"It's fucking beautiful...Mike, is this-?"

You know what its about, don't bother.

"Mike I can't sing it, can you?"

Pause.

"Please?"

"You're fucking pathetic Billie Joe."

Jason was like Tre. That would be the reason why Mike loves him so much. And the reason why if anything, even if Tré were to fall over and trip, Mike would be reminded of what happened to Jason Andrew Relva.

"Pathetic, how?"

"You still feel guilty...Billie, you had nothing to do with it. Just like what happened to the  Haushinka girl." Mike said causally.

Mike you act like it's nothing?
Why can't I?
You've gotten over it.
You've been over it...WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I?