friends {k.l}

.13

"Kian, I'm going to trip over everything." I whined as his fingers covered my eyes.

"It'll ruin the surprise if you see it." He said sadly as my foot caught the top of a step.

I started to head for the ground but Kian caught me, lifting me up. He set me down after walking a few feet. I could smell candles burning as I smiled.

He pulled the blindfold off as I smiled, taking in the scene around me.

There were candles placed around the bathtub, a box of pizza leaning on the edge of the tub, but the tub was empty.

"I was going to take you to a fancy restaurant, but I thought this was more us."

"Is there supposed to be water in the tub?" I asked.

He shook his head. "That's our table."

"Oh my god," I laughed, climbing into the tub. He climbed in beside me, handing me a piece of pizza. "You're so cheesy."

"So's this pizza." He grinned, taking a bite of his piece.

I rolled my eyes, looking at him. He was so freaking cute. His hair was a bit of messy, but a perfect mess. He had his glasses on, which were absolutely adorable on him. I leaned over and kissed him, his lips molding against mine.

He set his pizza down, pulling back to look at me. "I love you so much."

I smiled, straddling his lips, kissing him again. "I love you too."

***

After spending a few days with Kian, I decided to go home to spend time with my mom. 

I haven't seen her since Asher's funeral last year and thought it'd be the best to spend time with her.

I bid everyone goodbye, pressing a hard kiss against Kian's lips. He pressed quick kisses to my lips before hugging me tightly.

"Yeah," I laughed against his lips. "Love you too."

I caught my plane earlier than I thought, getting home by the evening. My mom didn't know I was coming and was shocked to see me. She grinned, hugging me tightly.

"Madison!" she grinned. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, mom." I smiled, hugging her back.

We ate dinner after I unpacked, three out of five chairs at the table now empty. I frowned as I stared at Asher's chair, how strange it was not seeing him there. Cracking jokes, choking on his food.

"I miss him too." 

I looked over at my mom before glancing back down at my food. "I feel so bad for not being here more."

"Asher knew you were out there doing what you loved, it didn't matter to him." 

"I know, I just- maybe if I would have went with him that night, drove him home," my mom reached over and took my hand. "Maybe he'd still be here."

"It's not fair how he was taken from us," she said, squeezing my hand. "He was just starting his life, too young."

"They're doing a memorial for him at the college, I was going to give the speech, but maybe you can do it?" my mom asked. "You knew him better than I did."

I nodded. "I can do that."

The next evening, we both dressed nicely for the service, heading over to the college at seven sharp. They introduced me after talking about Asher, giving me the stage.

"Hello everyone, I'm Madison, I'm Asher's sister," I started awkwardly. "Almost a year ago today, I stood in this exact spot, congratulating my brother on his first practice kicking off. A year later, I'm giving his eulogy."

"My brother was a good person, I don't say that just because he's nice, he was a genuinely kindhearted and good person," I said. "He cared about other people more than he did himself, he put more good in the world and tried to take away the bad. He wanted to help people's lives be a bit better."

I paused, taking a deep breath, calming myself. "I believe that everything happens for a reason, and for the past year, I've always wondered why my brother was taken from me. Why my mom and I, and his friends, why we had to suffer through the loss. Was it to build character? To cherish each other more? I will never really understand why God decided to take my brother from me."

"After he died, I was lost, I fell into a deep depression. I pushed away my friends, I stayed in my room, I didn't take care of myself," I explained to them. "My friends didn't know what to do, they didn't know what to say. My friend Harrison gave me a talk one day, making me realize that the thing my brother would want the very least, was to me to give up on myself."

"So, I started using my platform on the internet to show awareness to drunk driving and safety of safe driving," I explained. "I repaired my relationship with my friends, used my platform for the better, and even fell in love. There are days when I see parts of him in my friends, I see parts of him in myself, my brother has taught me to love endlessly and spread kindness."

"I want to end my speech with a quote: "I think, maybe, there is some validity in accepting that a part of you went with the person who died, and a part of them stayed with you," I finished. "So even if Asher is gone, he'll continue to live forever in our hearts."

Everyone started clapping, rising to their feet. Tears were stinging my eyes as my mom hugged me. 

Maybe I wasn't supposed to move on and forget. Maybe I was supposed to love him forever, and never forget that things he taught me. 

I miss you, Asher.