The Struggle of the Rain

CHAPTER 2:

(Present day)
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"S-sorry I'm late, I didn-" I rush into the cafe, frantically going to grab my apron, and fumbling whilst trying to tie it tightly to my waist, all the while being interrupted by my boss.

"Rainie you're 5 minutes late, sweetie don't stress, take your time, it's not busy" Mrs. Grey, speaks slowly, trying to calm my panicked state. I stop as I feel her eyes staring at me, waiting for me to slow my pace. I spread a believable smile across my face and give a small nod in reply. Walking slowly to the back to begin on the pile of dishes that was waiting to be attended to.

I roll my long white sleeves up to stop the hot soapy water from soaking them. Tying my dark brown, or otherwise seen as black hair, up into a messy bun before shoving my hands into the scolding water, beginning to scrub at the plates. A sigh escaping my chapped lips after a long school day. It feels like I've been out here for years, doing this same thing. School, work, go upstairs from the shop, eat dinner, sleep, repeat. But yet it's only been 3 months that I've been here. Repeating this torturous cycle.

Why don't I save up to go back home? It's because I know I'm not welcomed, my mothers life is better ever since I left that day. I've seen a phew pictures of her on Facebook, she looks happier, a genuine smile that I didn't know existed. She's even got herself a boyfriend. I won't take all that away from her, I was miserable there and so was she, me staying here means one less miserable person. Even though that sadly isn't me.

"Rain?"
I jump at the sudden noise, breaking my deep thinking. My eyes wide, taking a moment to take in my surroundings, Mrs. Grey staring at me with worried eyes, it's then that I look down to how hard I've been scrubbing the dishes, and had my hands in the boiling water for too long, that they were extremely red.

"You've been working yourself too hard, take it easy honey" she desperately tries to soothe me, but my blank expression doesn't leave my face. And I continue to stare distantly at her, unable to find words to give back to her. Her worried expression changing to more concerned and almost a pained one.

"Rain listen, you need to slow down. I know about your mental illness, I know this is too much for you. But I know how much you need this, that's why you need to take it easy. I don't want you overworking yourself" she continues to speak words that sound muffled in my dazed ears. She's right, I can't do this, and I'm surprised I've been able to for so long. But if I don't overwork myself, I won't be able to continue. It's how I get myself to keep pushing, it's never come to my mind whether it's bad for my health or not, I've never once considered it.

"I'm okay" I force yet another smile, although this time much less convincing. Much too tired and on the verge of passing out.

"You're not. Look at you, have you noticed that your shift is over? It's been three hours and I haven't seen you lift your hands from that sink. You're drained, you look sick" this time I notice a change in her voice. One of stress, that becomes confirmed when she rubs a hand over her face. "I wish I didn't have to say this, but trust me it'll all be okay. Rain, we're selling the shop to new owners..." Mrs. Grey says the last part quietly, as if she didn't want me to hear it, or was ashamed to say it. "Don't panic please, I've made sure the new owner promised to keep you employed. She seems lovely, and I'm sorry for the short notice but I didn't want to put this stress on you any earlier than I had to. She takes over tomorrow" she continues with a sad expression, guilt sweeping her ageing features.

"I- uhm. Yeah, no yeah I understand... that's uhm wow, yeah o-okay" I try to form a coherent sentence but fail miserably as the information settles within my tired mind. I look down to my burning red hands that fail to turn back to their natural pale ghostly colour. Eyelids feeling heavy from the stress of the day, and the realisation of yet another big change is coming.

Starting with a new boss, one who won't know me? Won't know who I am or anything about me. I guess I couldn't expect to always have this job. And to be lucky enough to have had the amazing boss that I have.

"Go please get some sleep, tomorrow is Saturday. Please I beg you to sleep in, god knows you deserve it. I'll be here to, well say a final goodbye tomorrow and hand you over to the new owner" she says slowly, patting my back gently and walking off to close up shop.

I finally gather my thoughts together and start to pack up my apron and put away the dishes. The dim light of the small kitchen being the only thing lighting the whole shop, that was starting to turn cold as the night crept in quickly. I'm lucky enough to live upstairs with extremely cheap rent. That was the only thing good, plus this job, that has happened to me since moving my whole life across the world.

I finally get upstairs and lazily drag myself to the bathroom. Staring into the mirror that hasn't been cleaned in weeks, taking notice of how exhausted I look. Dark circles under my eyes and skin that looks overly dehydrated. 

I wash my face quickly, not bothering with a shower.
I don't know how long I can keep doing this for, my body is weak. I'm always tired, miserable at school. People who never give up trying to piss me off, I've been bullied at my old, old school back in Australia. But I got expelled for beating up my bully, maybe a tad too much. That wasn't a good day for my mum, it was the only time she's actually screamed in my face.

After that she sent me to a private school, it was there I promised myself to never fight again, knowing the damage I could do to someone.

So now at my current school, I yet again have boys and girls trying to start fights with me because they know as much as they hit me and throw me against the lockers, that I won't do anything back. And this school is way more shitty than the public school I went to, so with that said, of course they never get into trouble because teachers do not give to shits even if they do see it happen. Which has been multiple times.

Anyways, I then drag myself to work every night monday-Friday, already prepared to fall asleep. Doing either 3-5 hour shifts, depending how busy it is in the cafe.

I'm sure any teenager could agree that it's tiring to go to work straight after school. Exhausted from the school day that feels like it drags on forever.
Well what about when you have sever depression on top of that. Not only are you tired from the day, but you're tired from life. Exhausted from the minute you get wake up. Yet not able to sleep till 2-3 am in the morning.

I can't exactly explain what it's like because words don't do it justice. But you know what it's like if you live with it too.

I crawl into bed finally, feeling the crack of my bones underneath the soft mattress. Waiting for sleep that won't come for many more hours. The only thing in my mind is the thay tomorrow brings a new change that I'm not ready to face.

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HEYYY sorry for a terrible chapter, things are going to get interesting soon, and more characters will come x
I'll write the next chapter when we get 3 votes on this chapter. Please leave me comments as well, tell me how you are all liking it so far??? Much love x -Hope ❤️