Feel My Voice (Avi Kaplan Fanfiction)

4. Contradicted

CHAPTER 4

We both broke from our staring.

Clumsily, I took out the phone to answer my mother's message. 

"Hi Mom. We were just looking at the stars... Yes, I'm coming." I sent the messages and put away the phone. 

Avi had his eyes closed and his hands resting over his stomach.

I traced with my eyes the silhouette of his body. 

Odalysse, stop! Since eight o'clock, I'd started looking at him in a deliberate way. It wasn't conscious. It was just that this entire thing felt so real. It really felt that he was trying to make me feel happy and special from the bottom of his heart. It really felt like he was making a big effort to win my heart...

Was it because of the way his eyes lingered on mine? Or the way he grabbed my arm on the way to the restaurant's entrance? 

All of these were ambiguous but supposedly adequate actions a man should or would do in a date with a lady. Maybe they meant all this romantic things to me because I'm not a very outgoing person. I never "went out on dates".

I once had a boyfriend, but it didn't last long, mostly because I was obsessed with college.

My eyes flickered to the moon, shining majestically with the rest of the heavenly bodies.

"I shall be going..." I said, still looking at the sky. I didn't want to look away.

He sat straight, appearing tired. Grabbing the keys that were already pinned in the ignition, he brought the engine to life. My body quivered to the motor's purr, so did my temples. The vibrations stopped when the engine stabilized and we began to move. 

Avi drove drawing a circle around the field where we had parked to see the stars, the car accelerating made my hair swirl in the air.

He glimpsed at me, smiling. 

I couldn't stay quiet to the outside world, so I opened my mouth. 

"Why are you smiling?" I asked maybe a little too loud.

He prepared to exaggerate his word gesticulation and turned his face to meet my gaze, "You look happy." He said without taking his eyes away from the road.

I then realized I was smiling widely, and couldn't stop it. 

He parked a couple meters away from my house's lawn. I tried to predict his next move, analyzing the situation. 

Nothing.

He just stayed there.

I looked down to my tangled hands resting over my lap.

Why would he even bother to do something special? He just had to say ‘Nice meeting you. Goodbye forever’. 

I took my purse and a deep breath, and then turned to him. 

His eyes were lost looking somewhere in front of us, the horizon maybe.

"I..." His eyes came back to me with a swift movement. "I better be going. It was amazing meeting you, Avriel Kaplan." I had the tendency to say people's names every ten seconds when having a conversation. This had been pointed out to me one single time in my entire life, and from that point, I started noticing it. At first, I wanted to stop it, but then I realized I loved calling people by their names as much as possible. And I don't get exactly why, but I especially loved calling this man by his very name.

Outside of my thoughts, I was trying to act cool and calm. Avoiding eye contact wasn't the best way to prove my coolness, but I was doing my best. My hand reached the door handle, and I was thinking of a single, fluid movement to open it and get out of the car as fast as possible.