Soul Nate

Two

I needed time to think.

New York has this feel of isolation, and right now that’s what I needed.

Outside, it was getting towards evening. The sky was darkening and I knew I’d have been able to see the stars if I lived somewhere that wasn’t a huge city. But hey, at least I knew they were there.

I jumped into my car. I would have preferred to walk, but even I wasn’t so stupid to go wandering around New York City alone at night.

The streetlights were making orange puddles on the sidewalks as I drove, lost in thought. My head hurt. I honestly didn’t know what to do.

I mean, I know for a fact Nattie and I work well together. I loved him. I really did. I went through a lot to be with him, and it seemed wrong to give it all up now.

But then there was Nate. And I knew we’d work well together, or at least I was pretty sure. Nattie was never into reading books. But I could see spending a lot of time curled up under blankets with Nate, just reading. It’d be nice. I could see us helping each other with our writing.

But then Nattie, and the infuriating way he acted, and his cute hair and nice smile.

I whacked my hand against the steering wheel. What was I supposed to do?

And Nate had broken up with Rachel for me! I couldn’t just reject him. He’d risked everything for this.

Though it was a little lame that he’d think I’d have feelings for him. But knowing Nate, he probably felt bad for leading Rachel on. I know I would.

See, Nate and I were similar. Nattie and I weren’t. And it was hard to choose which one I liked more. Having someone know what I was trying to say, or having to explain it.

And that’s when I knew my answer.

**

“What?” Nattie demanded, staring at Nate with a look of anger. “You what?”

“Can we be calm?” Nate asked quietly. “I don’t want to talk about this angrily.”

Nattie sighed and collapsed on the couch. “Okay. Okay. Yeah.”

“Well,” Nate began. “I kind of have developed feelings for Amy, and I told her.”

Nattie ran a hand through his hair. Usually, he’d be confident about their relationship, but right now he wasn’t so sure. And he didn’t know why. “What did she say?”

“Just that she needed to talk about things.”

This was sign enough that Amy was seriously considering leaving him, Nattie, for Nate. For his best friend.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t angry. Just sad. This was why he didn’t do relationships. They always went badly. Always, always. Rachel and Nate, Jack and Scarlett. Now him and Amy.

But this relationship hurt the worst, because god dammit he loved her. He didn’t love people very easily. He never did. Amy was special. Amy was Amy. He loved her from the tips of her toes she was always painting different colors to the thick dark curls, he loved her glasses she sometimes wore and sometimes didn’t, he loved the freckles under her ear, he loved everything about her.

If he lost her, he wasn’t sure what he’d do.

Nate shifted, staring out the window at the dusk sky. It was nearing nine o’clock and he wondered where Amy was. Of course this wasn’t an easy decision; he didn’t question her time. He wanted her to be sure.

“If she chooses you,” Nattie spoke up, his voice cracking embarrassedly. He cleared his throat. “Just… please, if she’s sad, make her tea. She doesn’t like coffee when she’s sad. And don’t mention her ex –not me, if this is the case- but the one she had when she was like, fifteen. I don’t know if she ever healed from what he did to her, though she doesn’t like to talk about it. And I know you think I’ll hate you but I won’t because I understand why you’d like her. She’s amazing. And I don’t say it enough, and I should be saying it to her but… yeah.” His voice cracked again at the end. He pretended it didn’t.

Nate bit his lip and nodded.

The door creaked open.

**

After driving aimlessly for a couple of more minutes, I headed to Nattie’s place. I knew they’d be there.

Well, this was going to be stressful.

But hopefully, he wouldn’t like… burst into tears or anything when I told them my choice.

Did I mention I hated this? Because I do. I love them both dearly, as friends, and I hated that I had to choose between them. It wasn’t like either of them were better than the other. They were equally amazing. I hated I had to make one of them feel like that wasn’t the case.

I quietly climbed the stairs to Nattie’s, tucking my hair behind my ear. I wanted this to be over.

I stopped outside the door as I heard somebody talking.

“If she chooses you,” Nattie was saying. “Just… please, if she’s sad, make her tea. She doesn’t like coffee when she’s sad. And don’t mention her ex –not me, if this is the case- but the one she had when she was like, fifteen. I don’t know if she ever healed from what he did to her, though she doesn’t like to talk about it. And I know you think I’ll hate you but I won’t because I understand why you’d like her. She’s amazing. And I don’t say it enough, and I should be saying it to her but… yeah.”

I think I almost started crying right there.

I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

a/n

soRRY