Believe in Magic [a Loki fanfic]

Not a Hero

The God of Mischief had spent all afternoon reading in the garden, but there was no sign of the girl. When the sun started to set Loki made his way back to his chambers, bewildered by the sting of disappointment he felt. I have grown too attached, he thought irritated with himself, considering he was a God and had no need to seek mortal company. He could not understand why he cared at all. As the fire of his anger rose to Loki's mind, his thoughts turned dark and he decided to forget once and for all about this mortal girl who kept intruding his life.

When he arrived at his quarters, the dark prince found one of the healers sitting on the floor in front of the tall ornate doors. The man quickly scrambled to his feet and straightened his clothing when he saw the prince approach. 

"Master Loki", he addressed him courteously, "I -" Loki put up his hand and one glance into the God's fiery eyes shut the healer's mouth. 

"Whatever it is," Loki hissed, "It can wait." 

The man bowed his head obediently, but then changed his mind, when Loki was about to enter his chambers. He seemed to remember something, opened his mouth and closed it again. Finally, he stammered, 

"Th- th – uhm – the Lady Eir sent me." He evidently had trouble to control his fear of the dark prince's anger, which amused Loki, and despite his mood he decided to hear the man out. 

"Speak then," Loki snarled, pausing for more effect before he added, "If you must." 

The man shuddered and Loki smirked. 

"Uh- sh-she asked for you to c-come and see her," Loki raised and eyebrow. 

If Eir took the trouble to send one of her healers and have him wait in front of Loki's chambers until he returned, it would have to be an urgent matter. Loki wondered what it was about. 

"It concerns the mor  ... - the girl you found," the healer finished. Much to the man's dismay, Loki's anger flared up again and the God clenched his teeth. 

"Tell Eir I have wasted enough of my time on that mortal creature, and would appreciate if she stopped bothering me." With that he disappeared into his chambers, slamming the door behind him. Leaving a pale, wide-eyed, but relieved healer, who could barely accept the fact, that he got away unscathed. The man swiftly made his way back to the Healing Quarters.

A short while later there was a soft knock on Loki's door and he ignored it. He reclined on his day bed, trying hard to focus on the book in his hands. The fire of his anger smothered inside him, while a small voice in his head was nagging, trying to get his attention. 

Something was wrong. The girl was in trouble, that was why she had not appeared in the garden to meet him. Enough! Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. He did not want to care. He had no obligations towards her. He had saved her life, why was she still haunting him? This was what happened when you did one good deed – you got dragged into things you had no desire to get dragged into. Offer them a grain of sand, and they will take the universe. It was a curse. The knock again, louder this time.

He was not like Thor, he despised being like Thor. Righteous, full of Light, bound by his own good deeds, defined by rules and justice. He did not want to be defined - by anything. He needed his freedom. The voice inside his head grew louder. She needed him. Loki groaned. By the Norns! What had happened to him? Ever since he made the decision to save that girl's life, things were taking a turn for the worse. He knew it would have been better to leave her to die.

Knock.

"For Odin's sake, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"Loki yelled and leaped to his feet. 

"A word with you", Eir's muffled voice came from the other side of the door. 

"I have no interest in hearing about the mortal", he said. 

"Her name is Ella, and I will simply stay here and keep knocking until you are furious enough to open this door."

The door opened an instant later, Loki glaring at the Goddess of Healing. 

"What?!" he scowled, hissing at her dangerously. 

Anyone else would have been intimidated by his behaviour, but Eir remained unfazed. As Loki beheld her, he noticed that the Goddess' face did not show the usual poised expression, but she seemed deeply troubled. 

"Will you listen?" she asked, more like a plea than a question. Eir had always treated him with respect and kindness, one of the few Aesir who did, he should at least give her the courtesy to hear what she had to say, so he nodded.  

"Ella lost consciousness and I have been unable to bring her back." Loki closed his eyes. He did not want to hear this. "My magic is not powerful enough to reach her." 

"And you think that I would be able to do it? Is that why you came here?" 

"I do not know, Loki, but I certainly hoped that you would try." He closed his eyes, if he got involved now, he would get sucked into all these things he had never wanted to get entangled in. It was difficult enough dealing with his own demons. He did not need anybody else's. He did not wish to be a hero. And he had already grown too attached to the mortal girl. It needed to stop now. 

"I owe her nothing." His voice was cold as he withdrew backwards into his chambers. The dark prince was about to close the door, when Eir put her hand up against it. 

Loki, growing impatient with the Goddess, growled, "You are wasting your time here, Eir. If you are looking for a hero, you should go and see Thor." 

Eir's eyes held his when she replied, "But she is not calling for Thor, she is calling for you, Loki." 

As the words sank in, the prince's chest contracted painfully. 

"What - are you saying?" 

"When I go into her mind, I can hear her, and the one word she is crying out between her screams and sobs, is your name. Loki."