Believe in Magic [a Loki fanfic]

Promises

The dark prince found Ella in their usual meeting place. Seeing her sitting with her arms around her knees - chin on top of them - he was instantly reminded of the little girl he had encountered twice now in the inner worlds. She really was like a child. 

Overcome by a tinge of affection the God of Mischief reached out with his magic, ruffling her hair playfully with a gust of wind. She tamed it, brushing it out of her face with her hands. The God chuckled and Ella smiled when she looked up to meet his eyes and said, 

"In a mischievous mood, are we?" 

A wave of relief washed over her, knowing that he had not forgotten about her after all. She had missed him, especially with memories of her past resurfacing, she missed the feeling of safety that Loki radiated when he was around. Unable to hide the joy his presence gave her, the girl beamed at him and the God could not help but return the smile she offered, while he himself carefully hid his relief of seeing her looking so well. The master of magic settled cross-legged on the grass beside the girl.

"Can you teach me how to control it?" Loki raised an eyebrow.

"Control what?"

"The – magic." His eyes narrowed slightly. 

"And what would you like to use it for? Build more walls or towers?" 

The smile vanished from her face and she averted her eyes making Loki feel sorry for his remark. 

Well done, Loki, you just arrived back and have managed to upset her already. 

She slowly turned her gaze back towards him and whispered, 

"How - do you know?" 

Loki searched her eyes. Was she not aware of the fact that he had been inside her inner worlds? Twice? 

"I have seen it." he simply stated. 

Ella's eyes were fixed on him as she muttered, 

"Can you – did you – did you read my thoughts? Did you get into my mind?" 

So she really was not aware that he had been with her. Eir had evidently not told her either. 

Loki did not like the way she looked at him. Her hazel eyes shifted nervously, fearful for the first time when they beheld him. 

"I can and I did." He said calmly. "But I will neither manipulate you nor to hurt you."

"Promise me," Ella breathed and he felt her withdrawing. Loki thought that he had won her trust, yet he felt her slipping away. The dark prince had no malicious intentions towards her, but how could he promise her this kind of thing? He overstepped boundaries all the time. He was a trickster, a sorcerer, a villain, a Jotnar – a monster. He was unpredictable. 

Her eyes pierced him, clearly remembering something that had caused her great pain in the past and fearing that he would do the same to her and Loki felt pained by the thought of loosing her trust, nevertheless, he could not do what she asked of him.

"Do not make me promise anything that I might not be able to keep, because it would hurt you more if I broke my promise, then if I simply misused my powers." 

Ella stared at him. His words sinking in. He had chosen them carefully, the truth in them apparent. So far, Loki had not done anything to hurt her. He was not a monster, he would not use his magic to get into her mind and torture her, but he was right - even if he did, it would be worse if he had promised her not to. And he had done nothing to betray her trust. Still - the fear that he could was breathtaking. She still stared at him and this time it was Loki who averted his eyes when he said, 

"Maybe it is better this way – that you do not trust me. The ones we trust can cause the deepest wounds." 

His voice was cold and his face showed no emotion. A deep grief rose in Ella's chest and the girl realised it was not her own. It was Loki's. She sensed his pain. The pain of distrust and betrayal. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to make sense of what she was feeling. For some reason she was able to feel Loki. His emotions. Somehow they had connected - how she did not know.

"I trust you, Loki." 

The God's eyes wandered back to hers, the look on his face unreadable. 

Ella leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, and Loki was taken back to the tower and the little girl for a moment. The moment of relief when she had accepted his offer of helping her. 

"I trust you," she repeated. 

A wave of peace washed over him. The Jotun prince closed his eyes and let her words sink into the dark depths of his being. All the things he had yearned for, everything he had fought for in his life - power, recognition, acceptance, his right to be a king ... it all paled into insignificance in this moment. 

"I do not mean you harm", he whispered, "this I can promise."