Cole and Lili

In the Past

Cole

Yesterday, if I'm being honest, was very emotionally shocking for me.  Seeing Bree after so long was very surprising. When I dated her I thought it was just like any relationship. We go out to parties together sometimes, maybe a date here and there, go home and have sex, and that's about it. But what I didn't realize was that as we started dating longer she started manipulating me, sexually and emotionally, and I didn't realize for so long and I realized she was also making me block every one I cared about out of my life. Without realizing it I slipped into a major depression and just didn't want to do anything anymore. Once I started talking to a therapist I realized it was Bree. She had done this to me. For a long time I didn't think I could love anyone again. I didn't think I even knew what love was.

But then I met Lili and it all changed. I was still in my depression a bit and my photography, of course, was helping me, but Lili completely pulled me out of it. She understood me. She knew what it was like. At first I thought wow this is such a great friendship, but then I realized that I was actually falling in love with this girl. It was completely different than with Bree. I never had any absolutely life changing moments with her, but with Lili every moment feels life changing.

Whenever I told Bree I loved her, which wasn't often mind you, it felt so robotic and a little forced. With Lili when I tell her I love you or just whenever I see her and she smiles at me or me at her my heart just palpitates and I can't believe that she actually loves me. It doesn't seem possible.

But it is and I just want to leave that Bree bullshit in the past. I have Lili and that's all that matters.

I feel a warm hand on my bare shoulder and I know it's Lili.

"Hey babe." She smiles at me. "How are you?"

I take a deep breath and clear everything bad out of my head. I was okay. I felt at peace with everything. I felt happy. "I'm more than better. I mean your my fiancè."

She lightly pushes my shoulder and smiles sweetly at me. "Do u wanna do something?" She asks me.

"Hmmm. Like?"

"Anything you want to do."

I thought about what I'd gone through  and realized I really wanted to blow off some steam. I give her a mischevious smile. "Paintballing."

We go to the place and, thankfully, are put on the same team.

"Ready?" I ask Lili.

"Pff hell yah. Are you?"

God I love this girl.

It starts and I start shooting. It is so fun and exhilarating, running and dodging paintballs. Lili and I are an unstoppable pair. We get so many down in the first 2 minutes than anyone else on the team.

Soon it gets down to just me, Lili and one other person left on our team. On the other team there's two and they're really good.

Lili and I duck behind a stack of boxes.

"Ok. We should each take one and have the other guy as back up. We need to flank them so they don't see us coming. And be really quite cause they're damn good."

"Sounds good babe." I don't say it right then cause I'm super competitive and want to win the game, but she is so freaking badass.

We quickly kiss and run out. Lili tells the other guy the plan and we start in.

I dart far out so the guy doesn't see me and duck behind some boxes. It doesn't seem like he's gonna look this way so I slowly and quietly get a bit closer and right as I'm about to shoot,  the other guy on his team shouts, "It's a trap!"

The guy turns around and sees me, but not before I see that he's turning around and I shoot him before he shoots me.

I jump up so happy. "We won!" I shout and Lili runs up to me and jumps into my arms and wraps her legs around me. I drop my gun and she pulls me closer to her. I kiss her with a huge smile and she's smiling too.

I don't know why but winning paintball made me really happy.

Lili pulls her face and away and smiles at me and her eyes are glowing. "That was so much fun!"

"I think this is only the second time I've ever won."

"I've never played."

I put Lili down. "Are you kidding me?" I laugh. "This is the first time you've ever played?!"

"Yep." She says, putting her hands on her hips.

I smile, speechless. "You are amazing."

She smiles at me.

I stand up on one of the stacks of boxes. "Everyone." I yell out. Everyone on the field looks over at me. "That blonde badass that you guys saw kicking ass out there is my fiancé."

Everyone starts clapping and Lili just smiles, happy and a little embarrassed, I can tell. I bow and jump off.

"How was that?" I ask her.

She smiles, shakes her head and laughs, "Race you to the car." She starts running and I do too.

She gets there about 2 seconds before me, but in my defense she had a head start. "Beat you." She smiles.

"Ok so I'm not a fast runner. I cannot seemingly be everything for you Lili."

She laughs. "I think your every thing."

I stop smiling and look at her. I don't think anyone had ever said that to me. I walk up to her, leaning against the car, and kiss her. I couldn't express it in any other way, how I felt about her saying that. It made me so happy that I felt like my heart might burst or I might cry.

And as Lili pulled away to look at me and wipe my cheek, I realized that I was crying. I guess I was still trying to wrap my head around seeing Bree yesterday. My head said I was over it, but not my heart.

"It's just-" I start trying to explain why I was crying.

"Shh. I know."

Yes. Lili knew. She understood. I didn't have to explain. She pulls me into a hug and feeling her there, I was already feeling better.

Thank you guys so much for reading!! I hope you enjoy this chapter because I actually cried a little writing the first part.

So anyways😙

MUCH LOVE
-Hannah💗