Remember Me This Way

XV

Remember Me This Way

2014

Chapter XV

 

He popped out two pills and held them in his hand, his other hand occupied with a bottle of Jack Daniels, looking into his bathroom mirror one more time. His eyes were blood shot and had dark rims around the edges of his eyes; making them look sunken in. His hands were shaking, as was the rest of his body as he brought the first two pills to his mouth and quickly threw them back into his throat, taking a large swig of the Jack without hesitation.

Looking down at the packet again, he grabbed another four pills and was about to put them into his mouth when someone pushed on his hard frame, making the bottle tumble to the floor and break, along with the pills that all tumbled towards the drain.

“Enough Tate!” Cassie shouted at him as he made a gurgling noise while scrambling for sleeping pills he stole from Carter’s medication.

“Tate come on, enough of this.” She said, pulling on his arm to try and get him to stand up straight and tall – now was the time to be brave – and she knew he could do it, because he’d done it before.

“Cas? It’s okay Cas, we’ll be together soon. Just give me ten minutes. Go into the room and wait,” Tate instructed groggily. His calloused hands framed her face as he swayed side to side on his feet before he gently kissed the side of her mouth.

Cassie cringed at the sight, smell and sound of him.

He was a wreck. He smelled like cheap beer; and his voice sounded like his voice box had been torn from his throat, rearranged and put back in.

“Tate no-,” Cassie began to chide but Tate had already slumped fully to the ground and began sculling the bottle of Jack.

“Tate! Stop it!!” Cassie shrieked as she pushed him over, making him let go of the bottle.

“I’m doing this for you Cassie…my beautiful Cassie…” Tate murmured in his inebriated state, looking up at her adoringly. Cassie sighed and looked down at him in pity.

“Don’t do this Tate! Not for me! Carter-,” At the sound of Carter’s name Tate seemed to sober up as he forced himself onto his own two feet and glared at her.

“Carter doesn’t feel the way I do. He feels something different. He doesn’t love you like I do!” Tate yelled at her but Cassie was done backing down.

Standing her ground, Cassie returned his stern glare, “Tate, this is stupid.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Cassie!” Tate snapped angrily at her making her scoff in disbelief.

“I don’t know what I’m talking about?! I lived it. I live this – this, this, endless fucking cycle! Every day! I’m dead, that’s all there is to it. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. You have friends, family, loved ones, people who would miss you. Don’t throw that away for some silly infatuation-,”

Cassie’s rant was cut off once again by Tate’s livid shouting,

“Some silly infatuation? I fucking love you! It’s not silly, it’s not an infatuation, and it’s not just something that comes along every day! My body is on fire when you’re around. I look at you and all I see if the beauty inside you – in everything you do. When you talk, you have all my attention and when you look at me, it’s like my heart is being pulled out of my chest by you. Infatuation doesn’t do that to people, love does!”