Steve Harrington was going to be a dad. But not the way anyone at his school would have expected. No, he was about to adopt six preteens. Yes, you heard that right. He had the funds, so that wasn't a problem. So now the only problem was the fact that he could still barely take care of himself. It was too late to back out, though, because he loved these kids already and if anything happened to them he would kill everyone he knew, and then himself. And they'd only met once.
Soon came the day where everything was clear, and legal, and final. They were all so excited. The first thing that Steve did with them was take them to go get ice cream together. He kept track of what each one wanted, making sure he had it in order. He couldn't screw something as simple as this up, not yet.
"Alright, so we'll have a scoop of chocolate on a cake cone with rainbow sprinkles, a scoop of chocolate in a bowl with Reese's and cherries, a scoop of vanilla on a waffle cone with chocolate sprinkles, a scoop of vanilla on a chocolate-dipped waffle cone with those sugar crystal sprinkles—no, I know you have those, I've had them before, give the kid the damn sprinkles—okay, and then two one-scoop bowls of strawberry with nothing on them. And lastly, just a chocolate shake, please," Steve ordered.
The kids stared at him, wide-eyed. Most of them had ordered very specifically to psyche him out, and they were impressed when he got exactly what each of them had ordered. He even remembered his own. He led them to a table.
"Alright, chocolate cone for Max, chocolate bowl for Mike, vanilla cone for Lucas, vanilla in a chocolate cone for Dustin, and a plain bowl of strawberry for Will and Jane." Steve passed around the orders as the children's wide eyes and grins grew wider. "Yeah, that's right, you little shits, I remembered. What kind of dad would I be if I hadn't?"
The kids didn't answer, as they had mouthfuls of ice cream in their mouths. When they were already making a mess and gorging themselves only ten seconds after they had received their snacks, Steve had to remind them of their manners.
"Hey, take it easy, we aren't cave people, there's no need to eat like one," he chuckled. Every pair of eyes at the table lit up with a hint of laughter. When they finished their cold treats, they all headed out to Steve's new mini-van he had bought. He had something special planned back at home.
As soon as the crew had walked into their new home, Steve made sure they had their eyes closed. He led them through the house, only really leading one as he had made the rest do a conga line so to stay together and know where to go. He stopped in a carpeted room, where he told them to open their eyes.
"Oh my god," gasped Mike. "Is that—"
"Yeah," Steve interrupted. "It's basically a lame version of Dungeons and Dragons that I made up, I called it Cave Systems and Fire Lizards. You got your usual classes, you know, but I added one, cause there were more of you than there were classes, and, you know, nobody wants to be the same as someone else."
"What is it?" Max's eyes lit up as she asked the question.
"It's called the Zoomer. They help with faster travel and shit. Uh, I even, uh— I made up a shitty story for it, too."
"And it's all home made?" Dustin's face showed much disbelief at the man in front of him. Their new dad was unbelievably cool.
"Well, I mean, I bought the dice and paper and all that shit, but uh, yeah, basically." Steve scratched the back of his neck. "Look, it's pretty shitty, so if you don't wanna—"
"Oh hell no, you'll have to pry this from my cold, dead hands. We are playing this." Lucas was serious, but there was just a hint of humor on his face. "And I think now would be the perfect time."
"We'll need a Dungeon Master," hinted Will. "If you wanna join us, that is."
"Well, first of all, that's a copyrighted phrase, so it's called a Cave System Leader. And secondly, I would love to join you nerds in this piece of crap of a board game."
"But I don't know how to play," Jane said in a panic. "I've only ever watched while you played. I don't know how."
"Don't worry, we'll teach you," Mike assured her. And they did teach her. They had fun, even though, as Steve had previously stated, the game had a very bad story, with even worse grammar and language. They had fun, until it was time for bed, and Steve "didn't have time to put a bed together for you shits" because he was busy being the Cave System Leader. He let two sleep in his bed, and two sleep on the pull out couch, and two slept in sleeping bags, leaving Steve on the floor with a single throw blanket and throw pillow. He didn't care, though, not really. This had been the best day of his life. And this was going to be the rest of his life.
