Time Will Only Tell {VERY Temporary Hiatus}

Chapter 1 -Awakening

I woke up with a startle as I examined my surroundings. My heart was racing, and my temple was wet with sweat. I wiped the back of my hand across my wet forehead as I regained myself to the world. It was probably another nightmare, I said to myself breathing in air then releasing it slowly. I looked around my childish room and I realized I never had done anything to it since mom died. I really didn't want to do anything now that mom was gone. I still had my stupid little bed that brought back bad memories. I still had my horse trophies on my pink wooden shelf, and a picture of my mother beside my bed.

As I slowly began to move, I placed my bare feet on the on the cold hard floor and lifted myself up. My legs slowly adjusted to my weight, since I hadn't been on my feet for two days. I pretended I was sick, even though you didn't need to be an actress to fool my drunken dad. The feeling of going to school on this day sickened me because this was the same day my mom died.

It’s been five long years since her precious soul was lifted from her body. My dad would say her soul is still with us, but even when he was sober, I could never believe a word he said. She's gone and never coming back. However, when I was younger believing myself that she was gone was easier said then done. The pain of her absence still curses me like a stab in the back with a knife, but the pain was easy to push away.

I opened the blinds enough to see a straight view of my deserted property. The sound of the Blue Jays was much more hushed then usual, and I began to believe they knew what day it was today. My mother would feed them on occasion, and on the other days she would whistle a tune to them, making them stop and gaze. The way she was with animals always took her clients and I by surprise.

She spent her whole life with god’s most beautiful creation, horses. Her parents grew up with horses on their farm, and she got her first horse when she was four. She quoted "it was the best time of my life" and when she had a daughter, she must give her the experience she had. She went into the business of helping horses after traumatic accidents and in need of a new home. She hated when people called it a 'home or rehab center' for horses, she preferred the reference of 'healing center'. She didn't want to make a horse sound like something their not, like psycho or crazy (like what their owners refer them too.)

She first began with horses from the racetrack, and after many years her name became a fimilar conversation to everyone in the horse loop. Her clients travelled from big cities to meet her, and see her work with horses. Even with the success, she always said this was the best place to work. Home, with no distrubances and nature sorrounding all the horizons. She sometimes went to other provinces for clinics and always managed to come back home. There was nothing here to keep her from leaving my dad, except me.

I would blame myself for her pain, and question why I was born if I was such a disgrace. I remember dad always saying he loved her, but the next day would tell her she was useless. He said it was a game they played but even when I was young, the term 'games' wasn't using assualt. He acted as if he was fooling someone who hasn't heard the late nights of screaming fights, or phoney slams against limbs or horrific cries you only hear in movies. I've seen it all, but all they thought of me was a helpless girl sleeping in her room.

As I turned from my window, I slowly placed each sole of my foot slightly onto the cold floor. I held my breath, as I made my way quietly to my dresser. As I moved ever so slightly, I was praying in my head dad wouldnt hear. He wasn't snoring but I couldn't hear anything through the vent in my room, because he always fell asleep in the kitchen, that happened to be below my room. Finally, I reached my pink closet that reach a height of my waist, and pulled on the unicorn shapped knobs. It made a squeaky sound, that sounded ten times louder when the house was dead silent.

The house is usually dead silent, except the clinking of bottles, loud swearing or the low murmurs I hear through my wall. Sometimes I feel like my mother is right beside me, talking gently in my ear, saying that I should run. I knew clearly my mind was just playing tricks, like my dad played tricks with me to believe something was true, even though it was just a lie. A lie as simple as 'monsters are real, and live under my bed' gave me nightmares for two years.

As I slowly undressed my clothes from a couple of days ago, and put on my favourite shirt. My mother gave me the shirt that was once her's. It was a v-neck tshirt that dropped over my shoulder, and had a heart in the middle of the shirt saying "Time Will Only Tell" in the heart. It was also my cleanest shirt, with only a blood stain when I fell off my bike, and I have not determind the other stain however.

As I closed my door to my room, a scent alarmed my cringed nose. They smell of vomit, mixed with the aroma of sweat, overwelmed all my senses. I quickly had to make a plan to run out of the house, before my eyes burn to a blood shot red.

I plunged down the stairs, taking to stairs at a time and grabbed my bag at the bottom of the stairs. I looked both ways from my position. On one side, was the kitchen which my dad could be in or the living room where blasting tv played. Both had doors leading to the outdoors. I decided to go right, that led to the living room where the stench was slightly less severe. To my relief he wasn't insight and I ran towards the door flingly it up with the only force my weak body had.

I am sixteen, and my daily life is trying to avoid my fears.